Normal Topic I FARTED during my poly! (Read 7452 times)
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I FARTED during my poly!
Dec 23rd, 2011 at 8:57pm
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I took a poly the other day and I had gas.  I couldn't hold it in but I kept farting throughout the polygraph session (loud smelly ones too).  The polygrapher accused me of using my farts as a countermeasure and warned me to stop, but I couldn't.  Though the smell was asphyxiating, the seat sensor recorded every time I pooted and it pissed off the polygrapher as he started to interrogate me.  "I know what you are doing, stop farting!  I know you are hiding something and you better tell me what it is.  I don't waste time with people who try to beat the machine".  This sucks, I was yelled at and interrogated for hours and accused of using countermeasures all because of a little gas.  Do you think I failed the poly?  I haven't heard anything back yet.  Can having gas cause you to fail?
  
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Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #1 - Dec 23rd, 2011 at 9:47pm
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POOT

Your didn't pass. His nose that is. You should have told him "if I try to squeeze it off your little machine would certainly show countermeasures". This is the best one yet. LMAO.
  
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Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #2 - Dec 23rd, 2011 at 11:30pm
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POOT, 

This is the funniest story I have read in a long time.  I'm sure it is not funny to you, however it will be in my book!  I cannot recall this ever happening or being reported by an examiner at a seminar.   

The examiner should have stopped the exam and rescheduled you for a time when you did not have a "gas" problem.
  
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Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #3 - Dec 28th, 2011 at 7:07pm
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I interrogated dozens of detainees in that Vietnam business, using a variety of stress techniques.  We never learned anything from these sessions.  They learned how to stonewall us, and just endured our threats in stony silence.

I think if they had started farting at us, the war would have taken an entirely different course.

-Aunty Agony.
  
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Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #4 - Jan 9th, 2012 at 2:03am
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This story was a bunch of BS...I can't believe people actually fell for it.
  
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Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #5 - Feb 22nd, 2014 at 6:55pm
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This is the funniest thing I have ever read.....lol Grin
  
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Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #6 - May 6th, 2014 at 4:15am
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I took a poly the other day and I had gas.  I couldn't hold it in but I kept farting throughout the polygraph session (loud smelly ones too).  The polygrapher accused me of using my farts as a countermeasure and warned me to stop, but I couldn't.  Though the smell was asphyxiating, the seat sensor recorded every time I pooted and it pissed off the polygrapher as he started to interrogate me.  "I know what you are doing, stop farting!  I know you are hiding something and you better tell me what it is.  I don't waste time with people who try to beat the machine".  This sucks, I was yelled at and interrogated for hours and accused of using countermeasures all because of a little gas.  Do you think I failed the poly?  I haven't heard anything back yet.  Can having gas cause you to fail?



I just LOVE it! Cheesy
  

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and Office of Personnel drowns in the Potomac?   A great beginning!

The best intelligence community employee is a compromised IC employee!
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Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #7 - Jul 8th, 2014 at 8:55pm
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This is the funniest thing I have ever read.....lol Grin



That's what I should have done during Grin my polygraph "interview" in langley 35 years ago!! Cheesy
  

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and Office of Personnel drowns in the Potomac?   A great beginning!

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I FARTED during my poly!

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