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AntiPolygraph.org Message Board › Polygraph and CVSA Forums › Share Your Polygraph or CVSA Experience › I FARTED during my poly!

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I FARTED during my poly! (Read 7644 times)

POOT Guest	I FARTED during my poly! Dec 23^rd, 2011 at 8:57pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	I took a poly the other day and I had gas. I couldn't hold it in but I kept farting throughout the polygraph session (loud smelly ones too). The polygrapher accused me of using my farts as a countermeasure and warned me to stop, but I couldn't. Though the smell was asphyxiating, the seat sensor recorded every time I pooted and it pissed off the polygrapher as he started to interrogate me. "I know what you are doing, stop farting! I know you are hiding something and you better tell me what it is. I don't waste time with people who try to beat the machine". This sucks, I was yelled at and interrogated for hours and accused of using countermeasures all because of a little gas. Do you think I failed the poly? I haven't heard anything back yet. Can having gas cause you to fail?


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Twoblock God Member Offline Posts: 732 Location: AR. Joined: Oct 15^th, 2002 Gender:	Re: I FARTED during my poly! Reply #1 - Dec 23^rd, 2011 at 9:47pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	POOT Your didn't pass. His nose that is. You should have told him "if I try to squeeze it off your little machine would certainly show countermeasures". This is the best one yet. LMAO.


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Bill_Brown Very Senior User Offline Posts: 227 Joined: Apr 8^th, 2011	Re: I FARTED during my poly! Reply #2 - Dec 23^rd, 2011 at 11:30pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	POOT, This is the funniest story I have read in a long time. I'm sure it is not funny to you, however it will be in my book! I cannot recall this ever happening or being reported by an examiner at a seminar. The examiner should have stopped the exam and rescheduled you for a time when you did not have a "gas" problem.


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Aunty Agony Very Senior User Offline Posts: 143 Joined: Aug 15^th, 2011	Re: I FARTED during my poly! Reply #3 - Dec 28^th, 2011 at 7:07pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	I interrogated dozens of detainees in that Vietnam business, using a variety of stress techniques. We never learned anything from these sessions. They learned how to stonewall us, and just endured our threats in stony silence. I think if they had started farting at us, the war would have taken an entirely different course. -Aunty Agony.


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Guest Guest	Re: I FARTED during my poly! Reply #4 - Jan 9^th, 2012 at 2:03am	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	This story was a bunch of BS...I can't believe people actually fell for it.


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Me2013 Guest	Re: I FARTED during my poly! Reply #5 - Feb 22^nd, 2014 at 6:55pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	This is the funniest thing I have ever read.....lol


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xenonman God Member Banned Offline May sarin, ricin, and variola major befall Langley Posts: 680 Location: WI USA Joined: Dec 14^th, 2009 Gender:	Re: I FARTED during my poly! Reply #6 - May 6^th, 2014 at 4:15am	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	Quote: I took a poly the other day and I had gas. I couldn't hold it in but I kept farting throughout the polygraph session (loud smelly ones too). The polygrapher accused me of using my farts as a countermeasure and warned me to stop, but I couldn't. Though the smell was asphyxiating, the seat sensor recorded every time I pooted and it pissed off the polygrapher as he started to interrogate me. "I know what you are doing, stop farting! I know you are hiding something and you better tell me what it is. I don't waste time with people who try to beat the machine". This sucks, I was yelled at and interrogated for hours and accused of using countermeasures all because of a little gas. Do you think I failed the poly? I haven't heard anything back yet. Can having gas cause you to fail? I just LOVE it!

	What do we call it when every employee of the Agency's Office of Security and Office of Personnel drowns in the Potomac? A great beginning! The best intelligence community employee is a compromised IC employee!
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xenonman God Member Banned Offline May sarin, ricin, and variola major befall Langley Posts: 680 Location: WI USA Joined: Dec 14^th, 2009 Gender:	Re: I FARTED during my poly! Reply #7 - Jul 8^th, 2014 at 8:55pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	Quote: This is the funniest thing I have ever read.....lol That's what I should have done during my polygraph "interview" in langley 35 years ago!!

	What do we call it when every employee of the Agency's Office of Security and Office of Personnel drowns in the Potomac? A great beginning! The best intelligence community employee is a compromised IC employee!
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I FARTED during my poly!

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