Normal Topic I FARTED during my poly! (Read 7835 times)
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box POOT
Guest


I FARTED during my poly!
Dec 23rd, 2011 at 8:57pm
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
I took a poly the other day and I had gas.  I couldn't hold it in but I kept farting throughout the polygraph session (loud smelly ones too).  The polygrapher accused me of using my farts as a countermeasure and warned me to stop, but I couldn't.  Though the smell was asphyxiating, the seat sensor recorded every time I pooted and it pissed off the polygrapher as he started to interrogate me.  "I know what you are doing, stop farting!  I know you are hiding something and you better tell me what it is.  I don't waste time with people who try to beat the machine".  This sucks, I was yelled at and interrogated for hours and accused of using countermeasures all because of a little gas.  Do you think I failed the poly?  I haven't heard anything back yet.  Can having gas cause you to fail?
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box Twoblock
God Member
*****
Offline



Posts: 732
Location: AR.
Joined: Oct 15th, 2002
Gender: Male
Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #1 - Dec 23rd, 2011 at 9:47pm
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
POOT

Your didn't pass. His nose that is. You should have told him "if I try to squeeze it off your little machine would certainly show countermeasures". This is the best one yet. LMAO.
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box Bill_Brown
Very Senior User
****
Offline



Posts: 227
Joined: Apr 8th, 2011
Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #2 - Dec 23rd, 2011 at 11:30pm
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
POOT, 

This is the funniest story I have read in a long time.  I'm sure it is not funny to you, however it will be in my book!  I cannot recall this ever happening or being reported by an examiner at a seminar.   

The examiner should have stopped the exam and rescheduled you for a time when you did not have a "gas" problem.
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box Aunty Agony
Very Senior User
****
Offline



Posts: 143
Joined: Aug 15th, 2011
Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #3 - Dec 28th, 2011 at 7:07pm
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
I interrogated dozens of detainees in that Vietnam business, using a variety of stress techniques.  We never learned anything from these sessions.  They learned how to stonewall us, and just endured our threats in stony silence.

I think if they had started farting at us, the war would have taken an entirely different course.

-Aunty Agony.
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box Guest
Guest


Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #4 - Jan 9th, 2012 at 2:03am
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
This story was a bunch of BS...I can't believe people actually fell for it.
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box Me2013
Guest


Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #5 - Feb 22nd, 2014 at 6:55pm
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
This is the funniest thing I have ever read.....lol Grin
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box xenonman
God Member
Banned
*****
Offline


May sarin, ricin, and
variola major befall
Langley

Posts: 680
Location: WI   USA
Joined: Dec 14th, 2009
Gender: Male
Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #6 - May 6th, 2014 at 4:15am
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
Quote:
I took a poly the other day and I had gas.  I couldn't hold it in but I kept farting throughout the polygraph session (loud smelly ones too).  The polygrapher accused me of using my farts as a countermeasure and warned me to stop, but I couldn't.  Though the smell was asphyxiating, the seat sensor recorded every time I pooted and it pissed off the polygrapher as he started to interrogate me.  "I know what you are doing, stop farting!  I know you are hiding something and you better tell me what it is.  I don't waste time with people who try to beat the machine".  This sucks, I was yelled at and interrogated for hours and accused of using countermeasures all because of a little gas.  Do you think I failed the poly?  I haven't heard anything back yet.  Can having gas cause you to fail?



I just LOVE it! Cheesy
  

What do we call it when every employee of the Agency's Office of Security
and Office of Personnel drowns in the Potomac?   A great beginning!

The best intelligence community employee is a compromised IC employee!
Back to top
YouTube  
IP Logged
 
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box xenonman
God Member
Banned
*****
Offline


May sarin, ricin, and
variola major befall
Langley

Posts: 680
Location: WI   USA
Joined: Dec 14th, 2009
Gender: Male
Re: I FARTED during my poly!
Reply #7 - Jul 8th, 2014 at 8:55pm
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
Quote:
This is the funniest thing I have ever read.....lol Grin



That's what I should have done during Grin my polygraph "interview" in langley 35 years ago!! Cheesy
  

What do we call it when every employee of the Agency's Office of Security
and Office of Personnel drowns in the Potomac?   A great beginning!

The best intelligence community employee is a compromised IC employee!
Back to top
YouTube  
IP Logged
 
I FARTED during my poly!

Please type the characters that appear in the image. The characters must be typed in the same order, and they are case-sensitive.
Open Preview Preview

You can resize the textbox by dragging the right or bottom border.
Insert Hyperlink Insert FTP Link Insert Image Insert E-mail Insert Media Insert Table Insert Table Row Insert Table Column Insert Horizontal Rule Insert Teletype Insert Code Insert Quote Edited Superscript Subscript Insert List /me - my name Insert Marquee Insert Timestamp No Parse
Bold Italicized Underline Insert Strikethrough Highlight
                       
Change Text Color
Insert Preformatted Text Left Align Centered Right Align
resize_wb
resize_hb







Max 200000 characters. Remaining characters:
Text size: pt
More Smilies
View All Smilies
Collapse additional features Collapse/Expand additional features Smiley Wink Cheesy Grin Angry Sad Shocked Cool Huh Roll Eyes Tongue Embarrassed Lips Sealed Undecided Kiss Cry
Attachments More Attachments Allowed file types: txt doc docx ics psd pdf bmp jpe jpg jpeg gif png swf zip rar tar gz 7z odt ods mp3 mp4 wav avi mov 3gp html maff pgp gpg
Maximum Attachment size: 500000 KB
Attachment 1:
X