San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll comments on polygraphy. Excerpt:
PERHAPS BY THE time this column appears, Rep. Gary Condit will have taken his lie-detector test. Lovers of justice will be able to rest easy, comfortable in the knowledge that we have learned not a thing more than we knew before.
Friends, here we have a little fact: Lie detectors do not detect lies. They are not admissible in court, as everyone knows, and that is not because some cabal of criminal lawyers is keeping them out. They are not admissible because they prove nothing. They are not evidence.
Might as well admit Ouija board readings. Let’s see what the dead have to say about Gary Condit. Or get the Magic Eight Ball on the stand to testify — he hasn’t been getting a lot of work lately.
“Mr. Eight Ball, what do you know of the events of March 26?”
“Ask again later.”
“Your honor, I ask that this plastic object be placed in contempt.”
I do not mean to suggest that the disappearance of Chandra Levy is a matter for levity. I mean to suggest that lie detectors could use a few rounds of derisive laughter.