For your comedic relief

[T.M. Cullen]

The Poly Man
(sung to the tune of "The Candy Man" by Sammy Davis Jr.)

Who can take a statement
Sprinkle it with doubt
Cover it with fake science and a lie or two
The Poly Man
Oh, the Poly Man can
The Poly Man can
'Cause he mixes it with fraud
And makes the bureaucrats feel good

Who can take a answer
Wrap it in a lie
Use an ugly scowl and make all the applicants cry
The Poly Man
The Poly Man can
The Poly Man can
'Cause he calls the truth a lie
And makes the lawyers feel good

The Poly Man makes everything case he takes
Deceitful and suspicious
Now you talk about your childhood wishes
You can just go wash dishes