My husband failed a polygraph

[Ex Member]

I prefer June Lockhart because I had the hots for Angela Cartwright on Lost in Space. After the cool Maynard G. Krebs, I couldn't handle Gilligan. None of them had enough T&A, archangels are very picky when it comes to angels. Headed overseas, posting will be spotty for a while.

[Joe McCarthy]

Everyone is irrelevant in the end.   

Ahhhh, thank you Grasshoppa.....

LOL

[Joe McCarthy]

Prove it.

Forced choice (Think Ray Nelson's "Ipsative-Z-score" concoction).

Who's hotter?

Lassie: June Lockhart or Jan Clayton?

Gilligan's Island: Ginger or Mary Ann?

Charlie's Angels: Farah, Jaclyn, Kate or Cheryl?

Ugh

Linda Carter, hotter than every one of them, including Daisy Duke

Just saying

[Deshia]

You don't have to communicate with a hooker via text or email to have a sexual encounter. You asked 2 different questions

[xenonman]

Thank you. I told him if #1 is flawed that means that #2-4 could be flawed as well. So now were back to where we started and out $400.

I appreciate your feedback. 

Very sound advice.  One might as well rely upon astrology, tarot cards, horoscopes, ouija boards, or fortune cookie slips, as upon a polygraph!
I'm sorry that your experience cost you $400.  That money might have been better spent on counseling or a P.I.  8-)

[Joe McCarthy]

Very sound advice.  One might as well rely upon astrology, tarot cards, horoscopes, ouija boards, or fortune cookie slips, as upon a polygraph!
I'm sorry that your experience cost you $400.  That money might have been better spent on counseling or a P.I

I turn away infidelity tests, unless a family therapist is involved.  Most of the time these tests do more damage than good.  While I would desperately love the money, I would never schedule one of these tests unless I knew it would be actually helpful; meaning a therapist is involved in the mix.

[xenonman]

You don't have to communicate with a hooker via text or email to have a sexual encounter. You asked 2 different questions

Well, it's always best to "negotiate" (the contemporary term for it! ) your fantasies and perversions with the sex worker in advance, before actually meeting with her!   

[Joe McCarthy]

That has marks on it where it was touched by a 10 foot pole

Phrasing

[xenonman]

That has marks on it where it was touched by a 10 foot pole

Phrasing

Well, 10 feet might prove a bit too cumbersome for even the most experienced practicant of the oldest profession.   

[Joe McCarthy]

That has marks on it where it was touched by a 10 foot pole

Phrasing

Well, 10 feet might prove a bit too cumbersome for even the most experienced practicant of the oldest profession.   

Xeno, thanks. that damn near made me laugh.  I needed that tonight

[Meghan]

My first husband was very abusive. After a few years I began seeing another guy. My marriage broke up, and I was alone for a few years. Then I met my current husband.  We've been married for several years and have children.  It's been a good marriage, but my husband knows about my past, and lately he's been bringing it up more and more, maybe because my job requires me to fly around the country.  I've seen former boyfriends socially on a few rare occasions, but I've always been completely faithful to my husband.  It saddens me deeply that he mistrusts me so much.  I love him and would never want to cause the breakup of our happy family.  Lately he's been suggesting that I take a lie detector test to prove my fidelity.  I'm appalled by the suggestion and by the fact that he would even ask me to do such a thing.  But I told him I'd consider it if that would give him peace of mind.  Since then I've read ads by some polygraphers who make it sound as if the test is very reliable and the honesty they bring builds good marriages.  Of course, they don't want to mention all of the marriages they end.  I always understood that such ties really are NOT reliable.  I'd hate to tell the truth, only to have the tester tell my husband that I'm lying.  What do you recommend I do? 

[Ex Member]

I've seen former boyfriends socially on a few rare occasions,

Meghan, in my opinion this was foolish and risky behavior. I would consider this a red flag.

That said, most of the posters here would discourage you from submitting to polygraph testing. It will not resolve anything and even has the potential to make the situation worse. Modifying your behavior would be more instrumental in restoring trust.

[George W. Maschke]

What do you recommend I do?

I recommend that you not take the polygraph and that you share with your husband the information on polygraphy that is available here, in particular, our book, The Lie Behind the Lie Detector, which explains how polygraphy is unreliable and biased against the truthful:

https://antipolygraph.org/lie-behind-the-lie-detector.pdf

It would be foolhardy -- and a waste of money -- to allow pseudoscientific polygraph results to influence your marriage.

You might also refer your husband to this statement by Gary Smith, who found himself in a situation similar to yours, but made the regrettable decision to submit to a polygraph "test":

https://antipolygraph.org/statements/statement-028.pdf

[John M.]

What do you recommend I do?

By all means, do not subject yourself to the fraud known as the 'lie detector'.

You have everything to lose - and 'passing' it doesn't mean you're telling the truth anyway.

If your husband doesn't believe you, he might have more serious issues.  If I were you, I would reassure him that he is the only one for you every time he brings it up.