A virgin's polygraph story

[surprised 1]

Just experienced my first polygraph yesterday.  I had applied for a reserve law enforcement position that requires a polygraph.  I decided when starting this process that every skeleton in my closet would be admitted to in the application and oral process.  Having made it through the background and oral interview I had assumed there was nothing in my background that would disqualify me.  Therefore, I made no attempt to prepare for the polygraph exam.  My "preparation" was an honest application and my answering yes or no to the honest answers provided.  I had a vague idea of what the test was about, but frankly did not care since I was guaranteed to pass since I had provided the truth.  I didn't think I was that naive, but now know I am.  My stress level was fairly high at the beginning of the exam and the more I tried to "relax" the more I became aware of my physical state and wondered after every question if my breathing changed or my pulse rate was up.  When the examiner stopped the exam and basically implied I was the worst liar he had ever seen, the exam was over for me.  All I could think about was "other than telling the truth, how does one pass this exam?".

At the end of the exam I got the "inconclusive" comment and what I have now determined was the after-exam interview.  I was told that there was some deep dark secret I was keeping from him and could only offer the response that I had answered the questions truthfully and had no explanation.

I don't know if the "inconclusive" statement was a test or I indeed "officially" failed the exam.  If given a chance to retake the exam, I doubt I will accept the offer.  The thought of practicing breathing techniques and pulse control to convince the "machine" my prior answers were truthful leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

[Twoblock]

He says that you're the worst liar that he's ever seen then gives you an inconclusive?? You should tell him to look in the mirror and he would see the ultimate liar. Or ask him if he would share what he's smoking.

[surprised 1]

Too funny Twoblock!  At least today I am able to look back and see some of the twisted humor in all of this.  I am on the wrong side of 40 and started this process as my effort to give back to a community that has been a pleasure to live in.  I am fortunate.  I make a good living and do not have to rely on the results of a polygraph to provide income for my family.  I feel nothing but sorrow for those seeking to start their career who must deal with this issue. 

[Twoblock]

surprised 1

All seriousness aside, this sounds like total age  discrimination. If you're female, then gender comes into play also. You didn't indicate either one. You could also intertain an idea of a federal lawsuit.

It's a sad state of affairs when one voodoo believing person and one voodoo machine can determine a person's employment destiny.

[surprised 1]

Twoblock,

You might be correct.  I am male age 53 and did get some interesting comments during my oral interview, (most of the comments by officers close to my age). I am 5'8", 155 pounds and less than 10% body fat.  I have been lifting weights since age 15 and consider myself in pretty good shape.  I have checked the POST physical training and can max out point wise on all strength related tests and finish in the top 20% currently for the 1.5 mile run. If being old as dirt was the issue, seems like it would have been cheaper to flunk me on the oral. 

The examiner did mention in the pre-interview that their department would not consider an "inconclusive" because of liability issues down the road the the fact that defense attorney's use that as a method to discredit the officer.  Makes sense IF it happened to be the one sincere comment he uttered in the session.

[surprised 1]

Epilogue to the story...

Received a call from the background investigator and "inconclusive" was my final verdict.  They wish to schedule another polygraph exam which I will do, solely so that the "machine" does not win.  I have decided that this will be the last.  I am looking forward to the calm composure I will display on the next exam from knowing there is no Wizard behind the curtain...

[Knightshaiid]

Be careful, though - 'calm' isn't necessary and if you're still nervous, don't worry about it.

As you'll read in The Lie Behind The Lie Detector, the test is more about consistency than calmness. I've taken 2 thus far and "passed" both, though I was calm neither time. My heart was beating like a freight train.

And don't change your answers from the first test either, that'll be a dead give away!

Good luck!

[surprised 1]

Finished the latest poly.

First two charts of the latest poly were standard issue.  Third and fourth charts were different.  For the third chart the examiner had me repeat the last word of the question asked just before giving my answer.  The fourth was a non-verbal (nod) response.  Can anyone tell me the theory behind the repeat the last word before answering the question scenario?

[Twoblock]

suprised 1

He forgot what he just ask you and needed you to remind him so he could continue with the questions. You missed another opportunity to ask him to share what he's smoking. LOL

[surprised 1]

Twoblock,

If you keep this up, you will force me to question your respect for this process...

[Twoblock]

suprised 1
Awwh Shucks man. Why would you question my respect for the process. I assure you it's right there long side the poluted-ticians in Washington and their Globalist agenda.

[Knightshaiid]

Yeah... when it comes to risk assessment, law enforcement agencies may as well use Tarot cards: cheaper, quicker, and probably have higher scientific validity.

Hey there surprised1, how'd it work out?

[surprised 1]

Hey Knightshaiid,

Your timing is perfect.  I just hung up the phone from the background investigator and you will be happy to know I am batting 1000 and I now have TWO inconclusive poly's.  This time the reasoning appears to be that the examiner believed I was "controlling my breathing".  The background investigator wants to schedule another to which I answered I would get back to them as I was not sure I wanted to do this again.  I am afraid that is it for me.  I am now so pissed at this pseudo-science flogging that I have nothing but contempt for a department that uses the poly as the sole determination of whether or not you are a worthy candidate.

[Knightshaiid]

Surprised1,

I'm afraid most departments use the polygraph as the sole determination. I got the "you're controlling your breathing" horse crap once, too.

None of it means you have to give up. You really ought download The Lie Behind The Lie Detector and employ the techniques therein. You'll be surprised how easy this stupid 'examination' is to beat once you know what you're doing.
Don't let something unworthy of measuring you beat you out of a career.

[borderpatrol1]

I was told that I was so calm that the poly examiner couldn't get a "read" on my answers.  Have you taken drugs? No. Have you ever lied? Yes. Have you ever stolen anything of significant value? No. Have you ever broken the law? No.