New here and I need some help desperately.

[Lonesome00]

I posted this thread in the wrong forum. So I have reposted it here. Sorry about that.

This is a great web site. I was starting to think I was the only polygraph hater. I am so glad I found this place. I know I am new, but I really need some help. I just got out of the Army and I am trying to get hired at a local law enforcement agency. I have a really good background and all three agencies I have applied to have been impressed. However I have to get hooked to that darn machine. I have taken them in the past and failed very single one I have taken. I have no idea why because I know darn good and well I did not lie. I have already been turned down by the Sheriff's office because I failed their voice stress test. That is a crock of nuts right there. I have never, and I mean never touched any drugs in my life. I hate them; they are one of the driving forces behind me to be a cop. However, I failed a drug question. How in the hell did that happen? This is my last chance. If I fail the polygraph with the local police department I might has well let the house go. Because I will sure as hell be out of money by then. Any ideas on how I can beat that darn box?

[George W. Maschke]

You'll find information on how to pass a polygraph test in The Lie Behind the Lie Detector.

[Lonesome00]

Thanks. I'll read through it and see what I can do. How common is the problem I have? I have never been able to pass one of those things and I have never lied on one. There is no way a machine can accurately read every person out there.

[1904]

I HATE TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE DUDE.
But, your own words give you away.
Tip Of The Day: Give up the weed.

Next Tip: When you take the test, force yourself to breathe
deep and slow immediately after you answer a Relevant question.
Do it but dont be theatrical about it -

Force yourself to breather shallow and quick immed after a Control
question and picture in your mind a pitbull coming to savage you.

Concentrate - focus on your breathing patterns. Shut out his persona.


If the examiner says you are trying to manipulate your breathing
tell him he must give up the weed.

[Lonesome00]

Thanks, I'll give that a shot. Today is the day.

[George W. Maschke]

Thanks, I'll give that a shot. Today is the day.

I suggest that you not follow the suggestions posted by 1904. His/her advice is ill-reasoned and won't help you pass the polygraph. If you choose to employ countermeasures, you'll be better off sticking with that which is presented in Chapter 4 of The Lie Behind the Lie Detector.

[palerider]

lonesome00 ----better yet, during the Relevant Questions, close your eyes and picture a hot stove top in front of you. It's covered with pans of eggs and sausage----wait a minute, it's the back kitchen at Denny's, where you will be working next month as a line cook! Is it any wonder that so many would-be Houdinis get themselves locked in the trunk for attempting such fantastic feats---off of a web site no less. I think I will start a website which will assure people that I can teach them to be a world class surfer, without the person needing to get wet. Later I will send them to the North Shore of Owahu to paddle out and scream Outside Barrel! Outside Barrel! gurgle gurgle.
This site is hilarious!

[George W. Maschke]

lonesome00 ----better yet, during the Relevant Questions, close your eyes and picture a hot stove top in front of you. It's covered with pans of eggs and sausage----wait a minute, it's the back kitchen at Denny's, where you will be working next month as a line cook! Is it any wonder that so many would-be Houdinis get themselves locked in the trunk for attempting such fantastic feats---off of a web site no less. I think I will start a website which will assure people that I can teach them to be a world class surfer, without the person needing to get wet. Later I will send them to the North Shore of Owahu to paddle out and scream Outside Barrel! Outside Barrel! gurgle gurgle.
This site is hilarious!

Based on the low signal to noise ratio of your posts -- which consist almost entirely of empty bluster and ad hominem attacks -- I don't think you find this site to be hilarious at all. Rather, I think it deeply upsets you that we are providing to the general public reliable information on how to pass your invalid test. And because you are incapable of responding with facts and reason, you offer us FUD.

[Lonesome00]

Well, I took the test today and the results were inconclusive. That is the best I have ever done. I know that is worse than failing. The interrogator accused me of using counter measures. All I did was calm down and try to stay that way. I doubt I will get the job now. I think I passed. But because I told the tester how I truly feel about polygraphs, he deiced the outcome before it even happened. One more bit of proof that polygraphs are a fraud and should never be relied on.

[Twoblock]

Lonesome00

From what I've read here from polygraphers, if they suspect that you used countermeasures then that is automatic failure, NOT inconclusive. He can't tell if you used them or not so he let the inclusive ride. Which, BTW, he should recall you for another poly. I suspect he had already had made up his mind that "he" didn't want you to have the job. These people were wimps as kids and thoroughly enjoy their position because now they are the bullies and can turn the tables. As I have stated many times before "one person with one machine containing a few inconsequential line makers being able to ruin another person's livelyhood is wrong, wrong, wrong". They should be prosecuted for maliciaus character assassination.

[Lonesome00]

I could not agree with you more.This guy had his mind made up about me before I even got hooked up. I gathered that during our conversation prior to the test. Now I have to find out if there is any way I can appeal it.

[1904]

There you go, George.
At least an Incl is one step up from a DI.
and you thought the breathing wouldnt work,,,Hah!!!!

Its very easy for an Examiner to accuse a subject of employing CM's
when they score an Incl. The truth is that it is not science. !!!
Its all smoke and mirrors weed boy.

Palerider, thanks for your kind offer. What time of day is best for surfing?
How should I paddle out and what sort of waves must I look for.
I live in Atlanta.

[Lonesome00]

Because I recieved an inconclusive he is going to reccomend I do not get the job. So I do not see how I am better off.

[EosJupiter]

Because I recieved an inconclusive he is going to reccomend I do not get the job. So I do not see how I am better off.

Lonesome00,

I hope that the department you are applying to, doesn't make its decision on the polygraph results alone. Alot of them look at the whole candidate. An INCONCLUSIVE is just that, INCONCLUSIVE. Not a mark or admission on you in anyway. And you know its all Voodoo anyways. The downside is you pissed off the polygrapher before the test. A risk, but an honest choice. Never a bad choice to be up front when you know there is something wrong with a procedure. Much success to you. Keep trying, a few of the  posters here have jobs working in LE. Sergeant1107 is a good example.

Regards ...

[Lonesome00]

Thank you for the encouragement. I hope they do look at the whole picture. If so, I think I stand more than a good shot. But I still can not get over how cocky that guy was. He laid one hell of a "I am the greatest" life story on me. I am sure most of it was part of his tactics to try and avoid any claims of wrong doing later.