Where do I send the flowers, George?

[Flying_Cloud]

Well, guys, I have waited and finally feel "safe" enough to share my story, It's a good one (I think) you might want to go get a quick cup of tea before you sit down to read it.

My good friend works in the government and she told me about a year ago of a job that sounded "perfect" for me.  I had had a baby a few years before and was lucky enough to stay at home, although we had to pinch pennies. I was now  ready to go back into the work force.  I had never thought about a career in law enforcement but this sounded interesting, the pay was "over the top"  and my language skills would  put me at an advantage when it came to the rest of the applicant pool.  I passed my background investigation  (the background came 5 months after I put in my application) then they called me in for "The Polygraph"  I was not worried at all because while I had smoked some weed when I was 19 and 20 years old, that was it. (I am now near 40)   I have actually never been behind the wheel of a car when I have had too much to drink....never. I have never had a one night stand, etc... I drank a lot in college but overall I was and am a fairly straight person.  So this is how I went into my polygraph.  I had no idea of what a polygraph was like, in fact, I though it used an EKG type of monitor  as well as the blood pressure cuff and breathing tubes.  So I went to the internet and typed in Polygraph and that is how I found this page.    

I poked around a little but felt, as I am sure others do when they get here that this is a place for those people who need to be deceptive and get away with it.  I really didn't need what this page had to offer, or so I thought!

I went in for my Poly on a Friday afternoon and I had zero fear. I  was more facinated by the whole process.  I had not read any of the "Lie behind the Lie detector" but listened as he told me that he was  the "best in the state" and that everyone calls him when they need to get at  the "truth".  He told me that the machine could not distinguish a small lie from a big lie, so that if I had anything to tell him before the test I needed to tell him now or it would show as deceptive on the test.  I had put the information in my app about the weed so I just mentioned it to him, it was something I had always been up front about.  We went through the questions and I was put more at ease as I clearly was not at odds with any of them.  He hooked me up and then we started the test. On about the second question he very sharply barked "Don't breath hard like that"  "Just breath as you normally do"  
Thats what I had been doing, I became stunned for a moment, I mean I was breathing normal.
I know that at that point I became filled with a little stress but recovered again and went on with the test.  After it was over he said that there were some parts that he wanted to retest, I thought that it must be the first part of the test and I was glad I was getting to do it again, I thought, Wow, this guy really knows his stuff, he is taking me back to the place where he told me to "breath normal" because he realizes he caused a stress in the test by addressing  me that way after the test had begun. He begins to go back over questions   that were not at the beginning of the test at all but questions that were deep in the middle and were about crimes I may have committed that have gone undetected.  This went on for only 5 mins. or so and then he ended the test and took off the gear and then looked at me, used my last name Mrs. ______, I'm sorry but I am afraid you did not pass, your breathing was "all over the place" and you show strong signs of deception when asked about your past.  I need you to sign this paper that states that I wasn't mean to you.  I was in shock. More shock even then when they called to let me know my Mother had passed away unexpectantly.  What would I say to my family and friends when they asked how it went.  I cried as I drove home.  I was told I would be able to retake the exam and it would be a few weeks before the retest.  I came back to anti-polygraph.com and I started reading this time.  I was not interested in altering my responses at all, I was only trying to find out What was "wrong" with my breathing and to see if anyone had had any similar experiences.  I got a chance to read the "The lie behind the Lie dectector"  I understood what went wrong and decided that for the security of my job I was going to have to alter my responses if I wanted to get this job. Getting the job however was now  second to saving face with my father, my mother-in-law, my sister and brother, my oldest child They all knew I was being tested this evening and I felt I had nothing to fear because I had nothing to hid. I had not even lifted candy from the store as a child. I was just a goody-goody who wanted to please God as I was growing up and now  I felt that many of my friends and family  thought that I was actually being untruthful, it was a terribly painful time form me.  
I had to wait only 2 weeks for my second test. This  one happened  on a Monday evening.  My husband begged me not to use anything from this web site because I was going to end up "screwing" myself, and that it was better to go in and just be honest. I tried that the first time but  I listened to the captain of my ship, went in again was just honest and what did I get for being honest?  An "inconclusive"
that was it, my chance at this job was gone, and what really sucked was that I knew in my heart I would be perfect for the job.   I couldn't believe this was happeningto me.  I had heard that theydidn't give more polygraphs after two. I would have to reapply in a few years or something like that.  I called my friend in the government, the one who told me about the job, and begged for her help, I asked her to  call __________ ( a higher up) in the department and a good friend of hers, they  go to the same church. Please, call him and tell him to give me one more shot at the polygraph.  I went home and prayed for several days.  I came home on day four played the phone machine and heard, "well, we never do this but we are going to give you one more chance to try and pass this thing".  those were the exact words.  I had 16 days or so and I came here and read and read and read and read and practiced my breathing when I was driving, when I was watching TV, when I was with friends out to dinner, I read some more and because the department was using the same polyman, the questions were exactly the same on test one and two and I suspected test three to be the same.  I knew all of the controls, they were easy to spot, I did have one question that I was unsure of and I erred on the side of caution.  I went into the first test with no fear and I have to say after coming to this site, I went into test 3 the same way.  I was in control, I was smart, the position I wanted  needed smart people that could do something like control a polygraph test result.  I must say and I am sure you know by now, I passed my third polygraph test.  The Polyguy asked me what I thought was going on during the first two tests and I told him "I had a terrible vaginal infection and the itch and burn were horrible."  I told him that I had a rash all over my bottom , running down my inner thighs at the time and that it was horrible, the worst pain I had been in years"  I told a lie, a flat out lie, and a really goofy one at that. He asked why I had not told him about it.  "Gosh, how embarrassing"  I said.  "I wished you had just told me you were suffering and uncomfortable" "I am sorry you had to go through all of that" Hey, no problem, not your fault.   I signed my test strip and the paper stating that he was a good guy, and now, I have had my second check entered into the bank.  I have my wonderful job, I love it, and I am good at it.  I believe that my department is blessed to have me and to think that it almost didn't happen because of a polygraph test that I told the truth on!  :-/   Only my husband knows about this, I have changed  some details to protect me a bit, like maybe it wasn't a vaginal infection but it was a doozy of a condition.  The polygraph should be against the law, period.  George, I love you man, my family has been blessed with a wonderful second income.  My only question is "Where do I send the flowers?"    Godspeed, Flying Cloud

[George W. Maschke]

Flying Cloud,

Thank you for sharing your story, and congratulations on your new job! Please send no flowers, but instead help us to spread truth about lie detectors. Your post was a very good start! For more on what you can do to help, see:

http://antipolygraph.org/get.shtml