Hi all.

I've been on probation for about two years, and have taken two maintenance polygraphs.  The first two polygraphs were taken without seeking information on the polygraph on the Internet.

I am a registered sex offender, and was originally charged with viewing child pornography on the Internet.  No victims were involved, and my probation officer seems more concerned about me wanting to go out and physically harm a child than anything else.  I still don't understand that; but I will live with it.  I am currently in therapy that is NOT helping; I sit in a group, talk about not offending, and waste an hour (not to mention a large chunk of change) of my time.

Result of the first polygraph was an earfull of admissions to the Polygrapher (per the probation officer's and therapist's "suggestions"), and a failed polygraph.

The second polygraph taken was answered totally and completely honestly, with further admissions, and came back inconclusive.  On those grounds, I was transferred back to my offending state where I received a violation hearing and an extra year of probation.

My problem is, I have a polygraph coming up in about a week or so, and I am extremely nervous about failing it.  I am pretty sure that if I fail, I will be sent to jail, and will possibly face a resentencing for Prison.

If I do pass my polygraph, it will be the first one I've ever passed.

I don't know what to do here.  I feel that I will probably react negatively to some of the relevant questions, and I want to do everything I can to do avoid reacting to relevant questions.  I think this is impossible.

In order to better prepare myself, I have bought Doug Williams' manual online, and have read over this manual.  Both manuals seem to say to do the same thing: Control breathing and anal sphincter.

DOES THIS WORK?  How many people have tried this method with it working, even if they reacted slightly to a relevant question?  I am very scared, and want to pass it so I can finally get back to a life of semi-normalcy.  I would appreciate any feedback people have here.  I need to know how I can best prepare myself for the test.

Signed,
Nervous PolyAntiPass
(Nick chosen because I seem to have no luck passing polys, whether honest or deceitful)

I'm may be in denial, however, I admit the fact that I did the crime, and I am indeed paying the time for what I did.  I understand that although no physical victims were involved with my crime, the crime I committed allowed me to create victims.  This is what I meant in the original post, although I should have stated that the first time.  I am not denying that I did the crime, and that I need help.

I admit that the urge to reoffend is not absent, but is being controlled semi-effectively with smelling salts and a wrist rubber band shock.  Both work when they are used; and I admit that they have not been used all the time.  I am not reoffending as badly as I used to, but I have also not stopped.  It is something I am still working on, and I don't deny that this is a problem.  My current therapy is not helping address this problem.

In the other state I was in, I was on drug therapy which worked very well.  I have had a tough time finding a therapist here who can do the same type of treatment, partly because of lack of money (I don't make a lot of money where I work) and partly because of lack of good insurance to cover the bills.

NO admissions I have ever made were false.  Ever.  I have been told by therapy NOT to make any admissions to my Probation Officer: "Don't offer him/her anything."  So, I have been following that rule.

I'm not trying to raise red flags with anyone in this forum.  I'm simply asking for honest help.  I know I need help, and I know I'm not getting the help I need.  I need to know how to get the help I need to avoid being incarcerated while I'm honestly trying to better myself at this point in time.

I know the Probation Officer and therapists are very concerned that I may offend by actually physically harming a child.  I have not had any urges or thoughts to do so.

Thanks for the feedback.

I'll admit, this post and the topics it addresses give me great pause. I don't know if I have any constructive advice.

I agree, prison would not be in the best interests of this individual, based on the content of his posts. He would receive zero treatment and be among other, even more hardcore offenders.

beech

This is why you are failing. You show great fear over the machine. I know from personal experience you must be confident in the test you are about to take. You MUST be comfortable with the relevant questions. Don't let them say you MUST PASS THE WHOLE POLYGRAPH garbage to pass. The control questions must have a higher RESPONSE than the relevant questions to pass the test. If you feel your butt cheeks beginning to squeeze (raising your blood pressure) say to yourself I already disclosed that to them I am not hiding anything. Repeat over and over taking your mind off raising your blood pressure. Go over your relevant questions with your group and have them ask you questions you are comfortable with. If this is your FULL DISCLOSURE polygraph you could be holding back something that happened when you were real young and it's tripping you up. Maintenance polygraphs are a piece of cake from there on. The problem with child pornography is there is many victims involved. The images get stuck in your head. Talk to your GROUP and probation officer that its the images in your head that you need to see as victims. Once you do the fear will be over on passing the polygraph. Remember you must pass the RELEVANT questions. Keep that in your mind going into your next polygraph. Take it from a person who has personally taken 20 polygraphs. I know what im talking about and know what you are experiencing FIRSTHAND.

Okay, here's an update for all of you who thought I was such the bad guy that I may have portrayed myself to be in the original post.  

Needless to say, all of you were right.  I cannot say that I no longer have a desire to look at things I should not, but I have learned to keep them under control, and have learned (and used) enough of the tools to keep myself from relapsing into another cycle.  I know where I am at in my life with my cycle, and I know how to control myself at this point.

It's replies like this that upset me the most - which was the point of the reply in the first place - to piss me off.

#1- You don't know me.  You don't know anything ABOUT me.

#2- You have no idea what my original conviction was, and what the circumstances of the alegations were, so your opinion has no bearing in how I conduct my life or how anyone else here should percieve me.

It's unfortunate that they let people like you judge people like us when you hear the word "child" or "pedophile" or "sex" used in the same sentence.  This country is founded on the belief that "all people are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law."  Any one of us who has been on the other side of that stigma know how much of a load of bullshit it is.  People like you are so blinded by the fact that children (read "minors") are involved with something religious buffs or hard-headed people simply will not see past the fact that a minor was involved in any sort of crime.  They will not listen to any side of the stories; in your minds, we are guilty from the point we stand up.

And it's people like you who give jurys a bad name.  People may be innocent of the crime at hand.  It's up to the prosecutor to make us look as bad as possible, and the defense to defend our right(s) and circumstances as to what happened.

Had everyone here had the ability to review all of the facts in question, people would probably have a different view about the facts.

I do not deny what I did.  I'm not covering it up.  I simply expressed my concern about what was going on with my Polygraphs, and since I've already passed three since the last failed polygraph, I'd say I have a good handle on things.

Also, I did not have to rely on any of the safety mechanisms in this book/essay.  I simply told the truth and was at total ease with myself.

But I did not come here to necessarily learn how to cheat the system.  I came here to learn how polygraphs work and what they measure, and I came for support (or lack of support) from my fellow colleagues.

It's unfortunate that there are people like you out there that are here to ridicule people like us when you don't know the facts at hand.  It's people like us who are convicted with a sex crime of this very nature that tend to outrage people when they are too blind to read the facts before making judgements about people.  I pity people like you, because you see past the innocent and guilty based on the fact that children are involved.

TheNoLieGuy,

You sure are a piece of work. Polyantipass has a conviction for viewing child pornography. Who said he physically molested anybody??? It seems that you are one of those who follow the illogical reasoning that since 90% of all KNOWN child molesters had some child pornography, than ALL persons who view this pornography are child molesters. This is akin to saying that since 90% of all bank robbers use a firearm, than all persons who have a firearm have robbed a bank. I don't think so.

You follow another flawed statistic, in saying that the studies show he had multiple victims. Polyantipass may have viewed 200 different kids, so he had 200 victims. I don't think so. Yes, the children he viewed are victims. But not his. This is how the statisticians jack the numbers up.

You also state that all sex offenders go out and re-offend again and again... No, only 13% of them do that. I will also point out that 78% of all sex offenders committed their offense against a family member or someone they know very well. Do you have kids? Does your brother or sister? If so, the odds are about 3.5 to 1 that YOU will molest them, not Polyantipass.

It is sad that some bad people will use the information found on this site to remain free to do whatever it is they do, or that people may become cops that have no business being one, etc. The world is full of people who will use good things for bad reasons. One must weigh it all in the balance, and I'm sure George has done so. I personally believe that the good people who are assisted by this site far outnumber the bad, and that makes it worthwhile. In the case of sex offenders, the polygraph doesn't really matter. If they are offending, they will be caught. 

Now for you, Antipolypass, now that I have somewhat defended you. Get your ..s into some real therapy. Accept your deviant desires for what they are. A rubber band on your wrist?? Get real. If you can't seem to sit at a computer without finding yourself wandering to child pornography sites, THROW THE D..N THING OUT THE WINDOW. Remove the temptation. Come clean with your therapist. Explain to him or her what it is you are feeling when you view these images. Listen to the other people in your group. Odds are, they have the same thoughts and desires you do. You can't just sit there and daydream. If it isn't working for you, seek out a different therapist or group. Realize that those kids in those pictures are victims. They may not be yours, per se, but they are victims nonetheless. And they were victimized because somebody knew that you would want to see it. It may not be you in the picture, but you are indirectly responsible for the vicimization. Accept this fact. You need to think about these pictures in some way that causes you to puke all over the place when you see one instead of becoming aroused. 
While it is not definite that you will go out and molest a child as TNLG says, there is a POSSIBILITY that you will do so. Just as some people grow tired of smoking pot and move up to cocaine, some people in your position will weary of pictures and want to experience the "real deal". I am NOT saying that this will happen to you. But I am saying that if you don't get some help the odds of it happening will increase with every day. And if it does, you will be caught and sent to prison for a long time.

Since I've already raised TNLG's ire, I will tell you Polyantipass that I also am a convicted sex offender. I am guilty of saving the life of a girl running away to Atlanta, GA. The thanks I got for that was a 10 year probation sentence. I have completed 6 of those years at this point, and I have learned an awful lot about sex offenders in that time. My therapy only lasted 3 months, because the therapist quickly realized that I harbored no deviant thoughts. But I remain in contact with her. And the entire event has caused my now 19 year-old daughter to seek a degree in child psychology with an emphasis on sexual abuse, because she wants to find out why it is that kids will make false accusations in a situation like that. She feels really strongly about this because she was with me at the time of the "offense", in the truck with us.

Anyway, get some help now. It may be too late, if you have a poly coming up real soon. But if I was you, I'd get real serious, real fast. Unless you truly DON'T want to change. In which case you need to find some other site to frequent.

Thanks for the answer back from everyone, and thanks for the words, whether negative or not.

I don't deny that the therapy that I've received thus far hasn't been enough: all the therapist at this point is wanting is my money to get me off of probation.  That's all the therapist is currently concerned about.  How does this help me?  It doesn't.

You've asked why I can't get another therapist.  The answer is money.  I don't make a lot of money in my current position, and therefore cannot afford to see another therapist without shelling out massive amounts of money.  Therapy's not free, and it is not covered by insurance.

I have tried aversive therapy, and it has worked for the most part.  I still use the rubber band around my wrist when any temptations occur, and now know when and what my warnings signs happen, and what they are, and I know how to prevent them.  I do want help, and I am getting a fair degree of what I consider to be "help", but I am not getting enough.

Needless to say, I've had a lot of training and therapy.  However, it seems my therapist at this point is more concerned about getting paid than anything else.  And that's not helping me.

After all is said and done, and I'm off of probation, I will be seeking the professional help I need as soon as I can, because I will be able to leave the state that I currently live in, and will be able to make more money.  Because the therapy I have right now is state-mandated, I cannot get full recovery skills because the person training me doesn't necessarily have all the skills necessary to help prevent relapse to a 99% degree.

I do not deny the fact that there is a possibility with me that I could re-offend or move on to something else.  I do know that pornography creates victims, and each time I visit a site or purchase a membership, I am helping to create victims, even if the victims are not directly a result of me.

And, to help combat any cravings, I do not have a computer at home, nor do I want one at home.  A computer is a work tool, and I treat it as such.  Part of my problem was doing this at work, which I have stopped since last year (prior to learning a valuable lesson from my probation violation.)

I too have learned a lot while being on probation.  I have learned enough to reasonably (not totally) manage my fantasies and desires, and have found ways to keep my mind off of things when I dwell on any thoughts or feelings.  I am totally open in my therapy class, and am 100% supporting to all members in my group.

The only thing I think that can help me at this point is some sort of "miracle drug" to help keep my urges at a more managable level.  I tried Prozac, but that made me stop caring about anything and just making me feel good.

TheNoLieGuy

Everyone here knows my views on sex offenders so there is no reason to repeat. 

The point of this post is to say: It didn't take long for your newly acquired power to show. With your punitive attitude, there is no way a parolee could stay in compliance even being completely trythful. This guy only looked at pictures, according to his posts, but you have condemed him, falsely, as being a preditor. 

I challenge you and all LE to help us, the general public, shut down and prosecute the owners of these websites that bombard us with this unwanted slime. Adult porn sites are breaking the law too. Cut off the head and the body will die. We turn these sites in to LE only to be told "there's nothing we can do. BS. The fact that they are hacking into our email is breaking the law. So, apply your anger where it will do the most good because you have no business being a polygrapher.