Poly for Deputy Sherrif

[Kyle Hammer]

Hey everybody, yesterday was the day i took my second polygraph to become a custody assistant. The questions on the poly are exactly the same as the ones for a deputy sheriff. the first time i took the test it came up inconclusive because even the simplest questions like is your name Kyle and do you live at 217... came up that i was lying. What a joke, i went back yesterday hoping to pass but now have come to relieve what a piece of shit these lie detectors are. I was drilled by my examiner for over an hour and a half cause he thought i was hiding something from him. He told me that nerves wouldn't have thrown off the first test like it has and that i must have something major on my mind. He was all like "the poly doesn't lie its an awesome piece of equipment."  I continued to tell him there was nothing at all and he finally tested me. Afterwards i come back into the room where he completely gets all defensive saying i was purposely trying to throw off his charts. Then he said i failed in the categorizes of stealing and smoking marijuana. I started laughing in his face because i haven't smoked any marijuana in my life simply cause i wanted this job since i was young. He was also saying that my was was twitching and my butt check moved and threw off everything. I was like its completely impossible to sit still and not move one muscle in your body. Overall he basically was calling me a lier to my face and was telling me i was trying to hide something. I find it funny that my dad is a deputy sheriff and tells he that the lie detector is like voodoo science and that he lied on all the ones he took and passed with flying colors. WHAT A JOKE!

[T.M. Cullen]

Kyle,

Don't blame the polygraph because of your own shortcoming!

It is 98% accurate, based on tons of industry literature and numerous studies done by "deception detection" industry scientists.  You may have seen some of them on Oprah or Dr. Phil.

You probably just had a bad examiner.  It is quite rare to have the experience you had with the process.  Don't believe the horror stories you read from a handful of cry babies on this site.  Maybe you were lying to the examiner and just didn't know it.  Ever consider that?

Also, there are many factors outside the control of the examiner which could have effected the results of your test.  What factors?  Well, uh, that's a good question.  Um, I don't have time to list them for you now.  So don't ask!

Also, don't blame the test just because you decided to pucker your disgusting little anus during the test.  That was you decision.  LIVE WITH THE RESULTS!

Lastly,  I recommend you visit "The Polygraph Place" website to get the truth about the polygraph.  This site was established by polygraphers with years and years of experience.   They can give the real facts concerning this much maligned test.  Unless you think polygraphers are in the habit of lying to people, in which case go ahead, stay here and join the PITY PARTY!

Sarcastically Yours,

TC

P.S.  What makes you feel so darned ENTITLED to a job with this LE organization?  Get over it!

[kyle]

haha sorry i offended you, you sound just like these guys who are the poly graph examiners.  What are you a god damn spokes person for them? You sound like you love the machine so much you want to make love with it. They obviously are not 98% accurate cause my name and address came up as lies on the first poly. What do you have to say for THAT ONE? END OF STORY

[T.M. Cullen]

GOTCHA!

I was just kidding.

You are right, the polygraph is bogus!

We used to have polygraphers post crap like that on this board in an attempt at "damage control", but they've mostly disappeared.  Probably finally realized they were doing more harm than good post here in trying to defend the indefensible.

I hope I didn't piss you off too much.  

TC