"Have you ever told a lie before?"

[T.M. Cullen]

Bogus Bob:  "Yeah, all the time.  I'm the biggest damn liar you've ever met!"

Polygrapher:  "Do you intend to take this test seriously Bob?"

Bob:  "Of course, but remember, I'm a big liar."

Tester:  "This process is not a joking matter Bob.  Do you want this job or not?"

Bob:  "Well, yes and no."

Tester:  What does that mean?

Bob:  "I could take it or leave it.

Tester:  Well, if you want this job you better start cooperating!

Bob:  Okay, sorry.

Tester:  Okay good, that's what I'm looking for.  Now, have you ever told a lie?

Bob:  All the time.  In fact, I told the receptionist on the way in what a handsome man I thought you were!"

Tester:  (red in the face):  LOOK! (quickly composes himself).

Tester:  Okay, let's try a different approach.  Have you ever engaged in homosexual relations?

Bob:  All the time.  How did you know?  Is it my slight lisp?

Tester:  Okay, have it your way.  TEST OVER!!!!!

[nonombre]

Bogus Bob:  "Yeah, all the time.  I'm the biggest damn liar you've ever met!"

Polygrapher:  "Do you intend to take this test seriously Bob?"

Bob:  "Of course, but remember, I'm a big liar."

Tester:  "This process is not a joking matter Bob.  Do you want this job or not?"

Bob:  "Well, yes and no."

Tester:  What does that mean?

Bob:  "I could take it or leave it.

Tester:  Well, if you want this job you better start cooperating!

Bob:  Okay, sorry.

Tester:  Okay good, that's what I'm looking for.  Now, have you ever told a lie?

Bob:  All the time.  In fact, I told the receptionist on the way in what a handsome man I thought you were!"

Tester:  (red in the face):  LOOK! (quickly composes himself).

Tester:  Okay, let's try a different approach.  Have you ever engaged in homosexual relations?

Bob:  All the time.  How did you know?  Is it my slight lisp?

Tester:  Okay, have it your way.  TEST OVER!!!!!

Of course Bogus Bob does not get the job and instead finds himself a more suitable position in the ever growing fast food industry.  

At the same time Cooperative Carol takes her police application seriously to include the polygraph process.  She graduates at the top of her police academy class and is subsequently featured on "America's Most Wanted" as the youngest police officer in history to single handedly track down a dangerous serial child molester who happens to be....

Yes, none other then our very own "Bogus Bob."

I like telling stories.  They are a great way to pass the time...  

[ecchasta]

I assume the story is purely fictional.  But I'm curious, would the polygraphy professionals participating here (given the same exchange) state whether or not they would have ended the session as this story ended or would they have continued and given the fellow a poly exam anyway?

[pailryder]

I would have continued.

[EJohnson]

Al,
Do you really believe that hardened criminals deny having lied to people they trust. Drug addicts? Individuals that molested their own kids?
Do you really believe people who take polygraph exams are fabulously cooperative?

C'mon.

[T.M. Cullen]

Hey, nonom bre, they certainly wouldn't be working at this SIGINT facility:


http://washingtontimes.com/article/20071221/NATION/676409066/1001

All those involved were polygraphed and passed!

 

[EJohnson]

Hey Al. Read the article. The spies were from a civilian Chinese Translator group, claiming to be an American Company. $5 says there was no polygraph testing of those encryption contractors, and if there was testing, than it was probably 11th hour and was what investigative tool was used to uncover the operation. Get some glasses and read your own article.

We will see this story unfold in the coming months.

[T.M. Cullen]

I used to work at that facility.  Believe me, if you are going to have ANY access to classified info, especially "raw intercepts" you'll be polygraphed.

You read the freaking article!  It says "RAW MATERIAL".  IOW, actual intercept material.

The contractors worked INSIDE the SCIF area.

[candy]

Bogus Bob:  "Yeah, all the time.  I'm the biggest damn liar you've ever met!"

Polygrapher:  "Do you intend to take this test seriously Bob?"

Bob:  "Of course, but remember, I'm a big liar."

Tester:  "This process is not a joking matter Bob.  Do you want this job or not?"

Bob:  "Well, yes and no."

Tester:  What does that mean?

Bob:  "I could take it or leave it.

Tester:  Well, if you want this job you better start cooperating!

Bob:  Okay, sorry.

Tester:  Okay good, that's what I'm looking for.  Now, have you ever told a lie?

Bob:  All the time.  In fact, I told the receptionist on the way in what a handsome man I thought you were!"

Tester:  (red in the face):  LOOK! (quickly composes himself).

Tester:  Okay, let's try a different approach.  Have you ever engaged in homosexual relations?

Bob:  All the time.  How did you know?  Is it my slight lisp?

Tester:  Okay, have it your way.  TEST OVER!!!!!

Of course Bogus Bob does not get the job and instead finds himself a more suitable position in the ever growing fast food industry.  

At the same time Cooperative Carol takes her police application seriously to include the polygraph process.  She graduates at the top of her police academy class and is subsequently featured on "America's Most Wanted" as the youngest police officer in history to single handedly track down a dangerous serial child molester who happens to be....

Yes, none other then our very own "Bogus Bob."

I like telling stories.  They are a great way to pass the time...  

That is so lame.
No wonder you are attacked on this forum with regularity and disdain.

[EJohnson]

Howdy Candy.