I didn't lie - I failed

[JB123]

"Perversely, the "test" is inherently biased against the truthful, because the more honestly one answers the "control" questions, and as a consequence feels less stress when answering them, the more likely one is to fail."

Oh my god how truthful that is...

I just had a polygraph conducted, and I answered everything truthfully, 110% - and failed MISERABLY. The examiner said that he could have shown 100 other examiners my test and they would all come down to the same conclusion. He then had the balls to tell me straight to my face that not only was I lying but that I'm in a lot of serious shit because of all what is going on... What a freakin asshat... Mind-games-o-rama.

Of course what I failed on was the fact that the actual worthwhile questions flustered me because I was trying to do good and say the truth, which spiked the needles, horribly. The control questions were completely unstressful (is the month december, where you born in the US). The real questions were completely stressful.
(Especially when your dad is sitting outside the room, being an asshat, and is going to give you a one way lecture if you don't pass the freakin thing)

The examiner must have been at least 80 years old... One of the controls questions, oh my freakin god, "Do you ever masturbate in front of a mirror?". Why yes Mr. I'm-Going-In-The-Grave-Here-Soon, I love to watch myself jerk off... Telling him my past sex history, of which is probably fairly typical for kids MY age - surely not his - was absolutely delightful. I'm sure he LOVED to here all my sexual indescrections with past girlfriends. Get into the 21st century already.

Talk about the most worthless $321 ever spent.

<pissedoff>

[NSAreject]

JB123,

   That reminds me of an experience, that I had with an
NSA polygrapher (which I have mentioned before); he
said that he masturbated to pornography on the
Internet, in hopes of getting the same out of me.
Maybe he goes home and does the same, thinking
about all the stories that he has heard and taking
some revealing shots of women, with their
interrogation cameras...

[lxpumaxl]

mine said something about only an idiot would not know what a blowjob is....i was like excuse me?