Paging George W. Maschke

[Captain_Truth]

question for you.  After reading your book, I am curious as to what you think is the best way to actually practice for the test?

It seems I could be doing more than sitting in a chair timing my breathing.

[George W. Maschke]

You might try tape recording a question series and playing it back as you practice your countermeasures. You'll find sample question series in the appendices of The Lie Behind the Lie Detector. You could select a set of relevant, irrelevant, and "control" questions of the kind you expect to encounter, write them down in some of the orders described in the book, and then read them in a monotone voice at 20-30 second intervals. Then play the tape back as you sit in a chair and practice the techniques described in Chapter 4.

[Captain_Truth]

cool...thanks!

[Batman]

You might also try standing on your head in the corner while sucking water through a straw, and humming Amazing Grace on a kazoo!

Damn George, you have one hell of a sense of humor!  Here all this time I thought you were serious about this countermeasure crap.  Now I know you're just yanking everyones chain.

Capt Truth, I suggest you simply go to bed every night telling yourself, "I am a good boy, I am a good boy...."
If that doesn't work, then eat a bunch of raisins and prunes, then when you feel the urge to hit the shitter, simply follow the adivce of Archie Bell and the Drells, "Do The Tightin' Up".

BATMAN

[Captain Truth]

You might also try standing on your head in the corner while sucking water through a straw, and humming Amazing Grace on a kazoo!

Damn George, you have one hell of a sense of humor!  Here all this time I thought you were serious about this countermeasure crap.  Now I know you're just yanking everyones chain.

Capt Truth, I suggest you simply go to bed every night telling yourself, "I am a good boy, I am a good boy...."
If that doesn't work, then eat a bunch of raisins and prunes, then when you feel the urge to hit the shitter, simply follow the adivce of Archie Bell and the Drells, "Do The Tightin' Up".

BATMAN

[Captain_Truth]

batman, why do you have such disdain for george?  are you a polygrapher?

[anonymous1]

batman, why do you have such disdain for george?  are you a polygrapher?

He's using a technique known as lampooning, whereupon he attempts (unsuccessfully) to ridicule the exact methods that would be the most productive at thwarting his little machine. Be assured, the more sarcastic he is, the more potent the advice to which he is responding.

[Batman]

And here I thought I was using the R&I technique, sometimes known as the Ridiculous & Idiotic Technique, whereupon I attempt to show just how stupid some of the advice given on this site really is.

Capt T,

I don't disdain George, I just dis him!  I save the dain for folks I really hate.  

I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours.  Since you started, YES, I'm a polygraph examiner.  Now my turn, are you really a Captain?  If so, of what, Industry, a fire department, the military?  Now we all know who Batman is, or Superman, or even Captain America; but who or what in the hell is Captain_Truth?

If you're still curious about the really best way to practice for the test, I'll give you a hint: 'Yes/No'.  There's the answers bud.  Simpy keep saying them over and over and you'll have all the practice you'll need.

BATMAN

[suethem]

Batman,

It would seem that you have been yanking your own chain when you spout off about how countermeasurses  don't work.

Looks like some of Sadam's boys have proved that they work quite well.

Since these polygraphers are dealing with the most sensative national security issuses, one can only assume (hope) that they are the best.

If countermeasures work against the cream of the crop....

I also wonder what the probable lie for Sadam's goons were?

  "Other than murdering 50 people, torturing hundreds, and stealing candy from the candy store when you were five,  have you ever...?"    

[Batman]

Hey Shit for Brains,

I don't know if I've ever said that CM's don't work (but I'm sure George or Beech Trees will tell me if I did).

What I have said is that they can be detected when used, but I think I've even acknowledged that on occasion they are not detected.

You need to go to more baseball games so you can learn to root, root, root for the home team, asshole.  If some of Sadaam's boys did in fact beat the polygraph, why do you have to take such pleasure in it?

BATMAN  

[suethem]

Batman,

Let's keep it civil-

I love America, my friend.  This is the best country ever.  Always has been, always will be!

I take no joy in the fact that these guys beat the polygraph.

The point is that it can be beaten by people and therfore the results have little merit.

Foreign agents study our methods and techniques and obviously realize that the polygraph is a sham and are prepared enough to beat it.  That we put any faith in it to stop enemy agents is ridiculous- didn't stop the cubans, won't stop anyone else.

Now that the information on how to beat the polygraph is widely known and distributed from many different sources, the value of the polygraph is even less.

I root for the team as much as anyone!

My criticism is only of those who would put faith in foolhearty measures.

[Saidme]

Although the posts for this one are extremely entertaining, I'll just respond to dipsh&%@, I mean Capt Truth.  Although I do have an excellent technique I've come up with called harpooning (involves alcohol and big women).

Capt Truth

You're title alone makes me ill.  You have the nerve to discuss truth while you're practicing CM's!  What a butt head.  Don't go whining to you're examiner when he puts you're feet to the fire on using them.

[Public Servant]

CT,

Why do you need to practice?  Do you plan to avoid detection on a relevant issue?  What is your reason for taking this exam?

Why not try taking the exam honestly and avoid the possiblility of being caught empolying countermeasures?  

Try to avoid being poisoned both by the content of this site and by the comments of the other examiner posts.  I'm sure you wil be met by an examiner with a very professional demeanor who is there to objectively administer your exam.  This site just seems to bring out the worst in some of us, sometimes.

[George W. Maschke]

Public Servant,

You wrote, "Why not try taking the exam honestly and avoid the possiblility of being caught empolying countermeasures?"

Two problems with the foregoing advice:

1) The polygraph "test" is theoretically dependant on the subject being less than honest when answering the "control" questions.

2) Not using countermeasures does not eliminate the possibility of being accused of countermeasures. In studies by Charles R. Honts and collaborators, even experienced polygraphers could not detect countermeasures at better-than-chance levels of accuracy, and polygraphers' opinions that subjects had employed countermeasures had no correlation to actual countermeasure use.

[Captain_Truth]

CT,

Why do you need to practice?  Do you plan to avoid detection on a relevant issue?  What is your reason for taking this exam?

Why not try taking the exam honestly and avoid the possiblility of being caught empolying countermeasures?  

Try to avoid being poisoned both by the content of this site and by the comments of the other examiner posts.  I'm sure you wil be met by an examiner with a very professional demeanor who is there to objectively administer your exam.  This site just seems to bring out the worst in some of us, sometimes.

I was interested in CM because thjis job is very important and if 10% of the stories I have read are true, I may get raked over the coals for something I am innocent of and stand the chance of not getting this very important job.

I have been 100% honest during the investigation phase,  confessing to every embarrassing detail I was asked, but I don't want to take chances.

And to the guy who called me a dipshit for using Captain Truth........get a sense of humor.......it sounds like a prison in these message boards, everyone is 100% innocent, so it was a joke.......