Failed polygraph and ruined my marriage and it was wrong

[Donnie]

Ok so I cheated on my wife. That being said, I never had intercourse with the woman. It was a kiss, ass grab, and I put it in her mouth without ejaculation. I confessed to my wife and she obviously was not happy. I lied about it for about a month before confessing. She thinks I did more.
I assured her that there was no more. The stress of not believing me led her to suggesting a lie detector test. Knowing I was innocent I agreed.

There were 4 questions that we both agreed on. The examiner also agreed that the questions were very specific and good questions. I agreed to the question as well especially knowing that I was not guilty of the subjects in the question.

After receiving the results we discovered that I had "deception indicated" on ALL 4 questions! Now my marriage is all but over and it's because of a 0% accurate polygraph!

[troll_of_truth]

Taking a private polygraph to prove your innocence is like playing Three-card Monte with a street hustler.  You are just not going to win, period.  A private polygraph is set up so that the subject fails.  Then the polygrapher goes and jacks off to the notion that he uncovered the "truth." I have never heard of a person passing a private polygraph leading to the subject's exoneration. 

[Animal]

It was a kiss, ass grab, and I put it in her mouth without ejaculation.

I fail to see how this is any different than sexual intercourse as far as a betrayal is concerned.

[Donnie]

It was a kiss, ass grab, and I put it in her mouth without ejaculation.

I fail to see how this is any different than sexual intercourse as far as a betrayal is concerned.

It is not different as far as betrayal is concerned. My wife wanted answers to 4 questions.

Did I have intercourse with her
Did I ejaculate in her
Did I perform oral sex on her
Did I penetrate her vagina with my fingers.

None of which I did. We were already healing from the betrayal and then the BS results came in and now we are not doing well. We have reached an impass. She doesn't believe I didn't do any of those things, and I KNOW I didn't do any of those things. I did not cross that line. She wants me to take another test but I see no benefit in that since I don't feel you can trust the results either way

[Animal]

It's a bit astonishing to me that she would differentiate. I would think that for most wives, the line was crossed once Mr. Johnson made his first appearance.

[Donnie]

I think you're missing the point of my post

[Animal]

No, I got your point. I just don't think this should have escalated to a polygraph. My observation may serve as a method to put this behind you. I would simply tell your wife that your betrayal was already enough as stated and any other details would just be overkill. Knowledge of any further details would not change anything and divert the focus away from healing. The damage is done, just look her in the eyes and assure her that it will never happen again. She will either accept it over time and allow healing or she will not and give up. Forget the idiot polygrapher and focus on healing and making amends. Good luck.

[troll_of_truth]

I agree with Animal on this one.  You should have never taken the polygraph, but it is too late now.  I am a bit surprised that your wife is accepting of you receiving a blow job, yet, she gets upset if you penetrated, ejaculated on, or just fingered the other girl?

Unfortunately, most people will never take a polygraph in their life so they have no reason to research it.  This leads to people trusting the polygraph based on what they see on television.  Then, when they voluntarily take one, or take one as required for an IC or LE job, they fail.  After the failure is when people come to this site and learn the truth.  If only we could have informed people about the delusion of polygraphy beforehand. 

Private polygraph results almost always are against the subject.  This is why lawyers advise against a suspect of a crime taking a polygraph to "prove" their innocence.  It is a sham, nothing more.  We, the antipolygraph community, try our best to spread the word before people decide to take a polygraph.  However, once people find this website, they usually have already become a polygraph victim.

[Patrick Hames]

Twice this past week, I've posted comments re: antipolygraph.org on Facebook, and it has been removed both times.

[George W. Maschke]

Twice this past week, I've posted comments re: antipolygraph.org on Facebook, and it has been removed both times.

What were your comments, and where on Facebook did you post them?