Turkey Polygraph

[Fair Chance]

A little humor on a great day!

This test is administered the day before Thanksgiving.

1. Is today Thanksgiving? (The mere mention of Thanksgiving Day to any turkey should create a strong response in the test subject.)

2. Is your name Tom?  (Any foodsource being accused of having the name Tom will show some reaction out of fear of being confused with a real turkey at this time of year.)

3. Has anyone ever called you a turkey?  (This is a relevent question as a real turkey must have been called this sometime in their life.)

4.  Have you ever argued with family members during the Holidays? (Control question, everyone has arguments at some point in their lifetime during the holidays.  If the subject appears very calm while stating no, it could be caused by the fact that they have never had a holiday with their family or in a turkey's case, they have no family because they have all been served on a dish during previous holidays).

5.  Should the subject insist on answering in gobbly jibberish instead of yes and no, the test should be discontinued,the subject should be accused of using countermeasures, and be given an intense grilling.  Many turkeys have been known to wear outlandish costumes to hide their large and rotund appearence so feel free to use your personal discretion in removing such costumes before your final grilling session.  A properly grilled turkey will not have any appeals process so the use of videotape is optional but not truly necessary except for training purposes.

Be thankful on this day that we are in this great country.