CIA Polygraph Thoughts

[ptrckhsu]

It is 1/22/2016, and I still haven't heard back from the agency yet. I received the letter that stating they received my response to SOR in 1/2014. I was denied a clearance in 10/2013.

[Bevis and Butthead]

When I failed my two CIA polygraphs, it took two years before I heard that my appeal was denied.  You should be hearing something soon.  The letter will come in a super-security sealed envelope, certified, and you'll have to sign for it.

Everyone at the CIA that I know now is telling me to just re-apply and start over from scratch, but my life is going just fine without them.  One thing I've learned that if you are a single guy and want to bang foreign chicks, don't even think about that.  You have to report contact with any foreigner and the CIA frowns on this stuff.  CIA would rather you just bang the slutty American girls that work at the CIA with you.  Ya know, keep it all in the family.

I did not sign any kind of confession paper. The question I failed on was "have you ever committed a major crime?" I did not confess to anything of that nature, but I did tell them some embarassing conduct I have committed, which they thought "If this applicant did this sort of action, then he must have committed this related crime." After an intensive interrogation from a polygrapher and the two adjudicators, I did not at all confess to any kind of crime, but the SOR made it sound like I did. I'd rather not talk about the exact details.

What exactly was the "embarrassing conduct" that you committed?  Did you drop your pants and moon the police? lol.

[Ex Member]

One thing I've learned that if you are a single guy and want to bang foreign chicks, don't even think about that.  You have to report contact with any foreigner and the CIA frowns on this stuff.  CIA would rather you just bang the slutty American girls that work at the CIA with you.  Ya know, keep it all in the family.

I hope our national security is being safeguarded by agents who have higher priorities.