all personal questions-rel vs. con

[garden]

I'm married. Years ago I found myself lusting after another man. Thank goodess I came to my senses but I didn't know what to do so I lied about it--for a very long time. I told him the truth about the cituation but since I lied about it on numerous occasions he doesn't believe me. And now I have to take a test or I fear our life together is over. So....

Would the things that happened already be admissions to say yes to? Can they be used against me? He thinks there may be more. So what would likely be my control questions? Does anyone know what format is used for this type of test? If generally answers should be NO to most relevant questions but they have prior knowledge, are those questions control?

Please help. I know this is of a different nature but this has more effect on my life than a job would.

[George W. Maschke]

garden,

I think it is not wise to attempt to solve your marital problems with a pseudoscientific polygraph "test." Passing will not necessarily allay your husband's suspicions (especially if he decides to research polygraphy as you have and discovers that it's a fraud). On the other hand, if your polygrapher accuses you of deception, your husband will likely feel that his suspicions have been validated.

If you nonetheless feel compelled to go ahead with this folly, then I suspect you'll face some variation of the "Control" Question "Test" (most likely a Zone Comparison "Test" or a Modified General Question "Test"). I cannot know what the relevant questions will be, or what the "control" questions will be, but I suspect the former would be concerned with adultery while the latter would be concerned with less serious matters, and that some "control" questions might be "time-barred" to eliminate from their scope events after your marriage. For example, one probable-lie "control" question that could be used is, "Before [year you met your husband], did you ever betray the trust of a loved one?"

To be able to differentiate between relevant and "control" questions, you need to understand their purpose. For this, I suggest that you read and re-read Chapter 3 of The Lie Behind the Lie Detector, and for further reading on "control" questions, see Chapter 8 of the 2nd edition of David T. Lykken's book, A Tremor in the Blood: Uses and Abuses of the Lie Detector.

[garden]

Thanks George,

I appreciate the timely response. I've read over Chapter 3 twice. I understand the concept but my subject of testing is not in your book. Basically, would the lines be blurred between rel. and con. questions because all the questions are personal. I think I've figured it out. But I'd just like a second opinion. If anyone else has comments I'll welcome them.

Also, I don't want to subject myself to the added stress either. I agree that his fears may not rest at a truthful chart. But he's avid about this and if I decide not to then I have something to hide. I haven't made my decision yet. However, I will prepare in case I decide to go through with it.

P.S. How long do you think before you're done with the 2nd Edition of the book?

[beech trees]

Basically, would the lines be blurred between rel. and con. questions because all the questions are personal. I think I've figured it out. But I'd just like a second opinion. If anyone else has comments I'll welcome them.

In order for the polygraph chart to be 'scoreable', the polygraph interrogator must have a basis for comparison, thus certain questions (control or comparison questions) will be asked in conjunction with relavent questions, i.e., questions concerning the immediate topic at hand. Again, reviewing The Lie Behind The Lie Detector will show you that the former cover a far-reaching span of time, and be nebulous enough so that *anyone* would have doubts about being completely truthful when answering. The latter will be point specific (did you have sex with that man?)

Also, I don't want to subject myself to the added stress either. I agree that his fears may not rest at a truthful chart. But he's avid about this and if I decide not to then I have something to hide. I haven't made my decision yet. However, I will prepare in case I decide to go through with it.

A suggestion. Print out the book in its entirety. Put it in a three ring binder. Drop it in his lap, and tell him words to the effect that while you have been honest with him, his illogical insistence that your honesty and the value of your marriage be judged by a non-scientific FRAUD leaves you with no alternative but to ensure that you pass by employing the countermeasures as described in the book. Then forbid further discussion until he reads the book. Proving a negative is impossible, and is made doubly so when faced with the rude, invasive interrogation you're certain to undergo.

If it were me, I'd pack my bags.

[MissionPoly-ban]

Abundant Garden (Everyone gets a pick):

Don't take a polygraph test....it will prove nothing.

You've lied up until this point, so just give him a "sincere" line of crap.  Tell him something like, "The only reason I wanted you to think there was another man in my life was so that you would pay more attention to me...it seemed like you were taking me for granted and I wanted to scare you into loving me more..."

Netnin

[George W. Maschke]

P.S. How long do you think before you're done with the 2nd Edition of the book?

Two previous self-imposed deadlines have lapsed, so I'm hesitant to predict a date. It remains in progress.

[garden]

Thanks everybody,

I just wanted to be sure. All the information on this site is great. I'm glad that you are all so helpful.

On the other hand,
Netnin, The reason I described the cituation is because its relevant to the topic. I've already told him everything and we are dealing with it. I'm sorry if the subject hurts you but it's not about you. Frankly I'm shocked that they didn't remove such garbage from the board, since it had nothing to do with the polygraph and was only personal opinions about someone you don't know. How old are you anyway?