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Posted by Skeptic
- Oct 25, 2003, 02:24 PMQuote from: Guest on Oct 24, 2003, 02:31 PMI'm deathly afraid of the polygraph and cvsa. I have concluded that they are BS, but I have a guilty conscience on things beyond my control and in an act I did not commit.
I have been married for almost a year now and my wife has a daughter which is my new step-daughter; she was 3. I was kind of dropped into the roll of dad immediately and found myself doing things I've never had to do before. All of a sudden I am wiping her after she goes to the bathroom if her mom is not available and helping in giving her her baths. At first it was a very strange experience and I am seeing things I've never seen before on a young girl. Thoughts go thru my mind about people and priests who fondle and molest children and I feel guilty just wiping her. I also had a dream in which I lightly fondled her and I feel like total crap for this although this is not something I would EVER do in real life but I can't control my dreams.
Has anyone else had to deal with this? It's hard for me to even think about this subject but I'm afraid I'll be labeled a pedophile in a polygraph. Thanks. :-/
Guest,
Despite Polycop's obvious attempt to make himself feel superior to somebody, dreams are not crimes. Nor are they necessarily indicative of what you actually want to do in real life, or what you would or will do. Don't sweat it. The very fact that you felt awful about even dreaming along those lines, and generally seem to have normal relations with people around you reassures me that you can be trusted with kids.
Unfortunately, these days our society seems to have gone a bit pedophile-phobic, and sees such behavior everywhere (probably both because we seem to need to have something to panic over, and seem to need to feel someone is lower than ourselves, and pedophiles qualify). It's important to remember that "pedophile" has a rather narrow medical definition:
A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally age 13 years or younger).
B. The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
C. The person is at least age 16 years and at least 5 years older than the child or children in Criterion A.
What this means is that being a "pedophile" involves being primarily or strongly turned on by pre-pubescent children, and a lack of normal social relations with adults. It doesn't mean having an occasional guilt-ridden thought that shocks you. If the vast majority of your sexual fantasies, turn-ons and interests involve adults (e.g. grown women), then you're not a pedophile. Period.
It's important to remember, also, that a diagnosis of "pedophile" would involve a thorough psychological exam, interviews, etc. Genuine pedophiles are actually not that common. Just having occasional thoughts because of a wholly new situation doesn't generally qualify.
If you're feeling badly stressed by the whole deal, I wouldn't rule out counseling -- not because, from your description, I think you're a pedophile (I don't), but rather because stress over this seems to be affecting your quality of life. Of course, if the issue is fear of a polygrapher concluding something unwarranted about you, then that's a different matter -- one that can be resolved by refusing to submit to such nonsense. Polygraphers can and will conclude nastiness about you without any help from you or regard for what you've actually done, thank you very much.
I sympathize with you, since you appear to have a rather guilty conscience (I know how that goes). It took three polygraphs for me to conclude that the polygraph is not the time to look for absolution for real or imagined shortcomings, nor are polygraphers in any position to grant it or people from whom you want to win respect. They are some of the more dishonest, amoral people you'll run into. I guarantee you that whatever it is you think you're guilty of, any given polygrapher has likely done equally bad things. The difference is, they probably felt very little guilt or remorse about it.
The polygraph is baloney, its practitioners are hucksters and liars, and as George has mentioned, how you do on the "test" has little to do with actual guilt, innocence or honesty, no matter what sort of correlation you think you may see.
My advice to you would be to resolve your stress by going the "complete honesty" route regarding your polygraph knowlege, or refusing to submit to a polygraph in the first place. You don't need the added stress of worrying about getting a bad reputation, or believing you "failed" a polygraph because you did something wrong.
Skeptic
Posted by Anonymous
- Oct 25, 2003, 06:54 AMQuote from: PolyCop on Oct 24, 2003, 04:50 PM
Thats right! Especially if you should lose control and actually slime that innocent little kid. After all, it is of the UPMOST importance to do all we can to protect the criminal population from the evils of the polygraph....
PolyCop
PolyCop,
My advice to Guest had nothing whatsoever to do with "protecting the criminal population from the evils of the polygraph."
Everyone has passing thoughts about behavior they abhor. The reason that law enforcement applicants should never disclose having had such thoughts to their polygraphers is that too many are creeps like you who would twist their words and draw unwarranted inferences, as you did with regard to my post.
Posted by Twoblock
- Oct 24, 2003, 06:50 PMNah. That's a cop who, in his own evil mind, thinks that's something he would do if he could be sure of not getting caught. Therefore, he thinks everyone is guilty.
Posted by Marty
- Oct 24, 2003, 05:10 PMQuote from: Mr. Truth on Oct 24, 2003, 04:58 PMUpmost? That's not a typo; just bad spelling/lack of education/ignorance.ROFLMAO, Nah, it's a Freudian slip. After all, that's what screening polygraphers actually do!
-Marty
Posted by Mr. Truth
- Oct 24, 2003, 04:58 PMUpmost? That's not a typo; just bad spelling/lack of education/ignorance.
Posted by PolyCop
- Oct 24, 2003, 04:50 PMQuote from: Anonymous on Oct 24, 2003, 02:48 PM
...And if you take a polygraph, NEVER TELL THE POLYGRAPHER ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DESCRIBED ABOVE!
Thats right! Especially if you should lose control and actually slime that innocent little kid. After all, it is of the UPMOST importance to do all we can to protect the criminal population from the evils of the polygraph....
PolyCop
Posted by p
- Oct 24, 2003, 04:33 PMI meant that he needed to go to counseling to realize that he probably isn't sick or crazy and just to deal with the stress. Studying up on the poly is a given though.
Posted by Twoblock
- Oct 24, 2003, 03:28 PMAnonymous
I can't advise you concerning the poly but, in real life we have to do things that are uncomfortable.
It gagged me EVERY time I had to change one of my kids dirty diaper. I did it anyway. It was 50% my duty. As for my female offspring - I helped my wife with these chores, and my daughters and my grand-daughters until the girls were about able to do it themselves. About 5 yrs. old. Then I stopped. As for the male offspring - I helped them until I decided they better help themselves. And when the time came, I taught them about the birds and bees. I believe in women doing women things and men doing men things. (For the women reading this - NO it's not a male superiority thing)
You may have a couple years left to humble yourself and help your wife. Do it in good spirit.
I can't advise you concerning the poly but, in real life we have to do things that are uncomfortable.
It gagged me EVERY time I had to change one of my kids dirty diaper. I did it anyway. It was 50% my duty. As for my female offspring - I helped my wife with these chores, and my daughters and my grand-daughters until the girls were about able to do it themselves. About 5 yrs. old. Then I stopped. As for the male offspring - I helped them until I decided they better help themselves. And when the time came, I taught them about the birds and bees. I believe in women doing women things and men doing men things. (For the women reading this - NO it's not a male superiority thing)
You may have a couple years left to humble yourself and help your wife. Do it in good spirit.
Posted by Anonymous
- Oct 24, 2003, 02:48 PMGuest,
I strongly disagree with P. You don't need counseling. It's normal for well socialized people to have passing thoughts about behaviors that they would never contemplate doing.
What you need to do is to educate yourself about the polygraph and CVSA. A good start would be to read The Lie Behind the Lie Detector which you can download from this site.
And if you take a polygraph, NEVER TELL THE POLYGRAPHER ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DESCRIBED ABOVE!
I strongly disagree with P. You don't need counseling. It's normal for well socialized people to have passing thoughts about behaviors that they would never contemplate doing.
What you need to do is to educate yourself about the polygraph and CVSA. A good start would be to read The Lie Behind the Lie Detector which you can download from this site.
And if you take a polygraph, NEVER TELL THE POLYGRAPHER ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DESCRIBED ABOVE!
Posted by p
- Oct 24, 2003, 02:33 PMI think getting some counseling from a professional would be your best bet here you are under tremendous stress with your new role in life and it would be best to be taken care of before your start a career in LE.
Posted by Guest
- Oct 24, 2003, 02:31 PMI'm deathly afraid of the polygraph and cvsa. I have concluded that they are BS, but I have a guilty conscience on things beyond my control and in an act I did not commit.
I have been married for almost a year now and my wife has a daughter which is my new step-daughter; she was 3. I was kind of dropped into the roll of dad immediately and found myself doing things I've never had to do before. All of a sudden I am wiping her after she goes to the bathroom if her mom is not available and helping in giving her her baths. At first it was a very strange experience and I am seeing things I've never seen before on a young girl. Thoughts go thru my mind about people and priests who fondle and molest children and I feel guilty just wiping her. I also had a dream in which I lightly fondled her and I feel like total crap for this although this is not something I would EVER do in real life but I can't control my dreams.
Has anyone else had to deal with this? It's hard for me to even think about this subject but I'm afraid I'll be labeled a pedophile in a polygraph. Thanks. :-/
I have been married for almost a year now and my wife has a daughter which is my new step-daughter; she was 3. I was kind of dropped into the roll of dad immediately and found myself doing things I've never had to do before. All of a sudden I am wiping her after she goes to the bathroom if her mom is not available and helping in giving her her baths. At first it was a very strange experience and I am seeing things I've never seen before on a young girl. Thoughts go thru my mind about people and priests who fondle and molest children and I feel guilty just wiping her. I also had a dream in which I lightly fondled her and I feel like total crap for this although this is not something I would EVER do in real life but I can't control my dreams.
Has anyone else had to deal with this? It's hard for me to even think about this subject but I'm afraid I'll be labeled a pedophile in a polygraph. Thanks. :-/