Hi,

Well my wife of 17 years today! and mother of my 5 children thought for many years that I have been cheating on her which I have never.  Recently she brought up a polygraph and since I knew I was telling the truth I blew it off at first and told her I’m telling the truth I always have you just need to believe it.  Long story short I gave into the test yesterday.  I was actually looking forward to it and confident because I figured they ask a question I tell the TRUTH and its done!  In all honesty the guy seemed legit and made me feel the system was legit so it made me that more positive.   During the test I got emotional because I started thinking horrible things like she’s been cheating on me while at the same time he’s telling me to think I am at the beach and relax……..RELAX?  It was kinda invasive and when your innocent then start thinking of how hurt you are being in that chair everything that comes to mind other then a beach is pretty overwhelming.   After the test and not knowing any results about the polygraph I was still relieved because I knew I was innocent and I knew at that time thats what the results will show..  A few hours later the email comes in that I failed.  Words cannot even.  My oldest son was with me due to the fact that he had to come get me because after the test I was still so positive I passed because I coulndt fail that she even felt that I passed and she got real nasty with me to the point she kicked me out of the car……Anyway, my son is the one that received the text about the fail as we were driving home and he could tell you that just from the expression on my face I was innocent.  First words out of his mouth was did you look this stuff to see how accurate it is, answer, NO. I never cheated on my wife EVER and never would but yet she holds paperwork saying I did. I get home she is emotional I call the guy right away and confront him on his mistake but obviously he denied it and two days later I emailed him telling him that if I knew I was a liar I would never agreed to the test and that even after he made me feel that is was a guaranteed result that I was that more ready to take it. Why would I if I knew I was guilty? He actually emailed me back and fourth till he said he works for her not me even though I paid the $543.00.   
My life since HS is this. We started dating October 28th 1994 I loved her and being with her and everything seemed to click it was a true feeling of meant to be.  Fast forward to 1997 we aren’t married yet and we had our 1st son and things were a bit rocky at that point because even then she had a jealous streak and always assumed things that weren’t true like for instance I had a job at HD and she came to have lunch with me and as I came out and got in the car another HD female employee walks out of the store and bam she starts accusing me of cheating with this girl and I have never spoken to this person, she then takes off her wedding ring that I busted my butt for and throws it in the parking lot and takes off and me thinking this type of things is normal in a relationship but as I am writing this I’m thinking to myself I have been dealing with this my entire adult life. Anyway....things have been like that all the way through to present day and we have been through a lot together raising 5 kids with me working like crazy and her doing the stay at home mother thing and really getting through it all and now I started my own business and doing financially better I figured this is it we are golden now.  In most relationships you would think at this point we are past all the thoughts of cheating but no.  In the past years I had to work all day at my regular job as a plumber and then go do all the side work I could to make ends meet.   Most of the work was through her own father, her friends husband and mutual people we both know and not to mention I would be filthy dirty from doing the work because plumbing is a dirty job and then the extra money coming in so there was no reason for her to think anything was up while I was at work.   Anyway I did all the things a man can do for his wife and family and I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’m not the guy that goes to a bar I’m not even the guy that goes hangs out with buddies because simply there was just not enough extra time for that and if there was I would be with my family.  I have been wrongly accused and I would stress to any innocent person in any situation not to take a polygraph.  I am not typing this because this is what I do, I have never had a reason to type something like this but my family will be destroyed by this. THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS THAT A GUILTY PERSON WHO TRULY BELIEVES THAT IT WORKS MAY SPILL THE BEANS PRIOR TO THE TEST BUT THE ACTUAL TEST AND THE JUDGEMENT FROM THE PERSON GIVING THE TEST WHO ALREADY THINKS YOUR GUITY IS ALL BOGUS PERIOD.    

Jay

Jay,

Thank you for sharing your polygraph experience. If you could contact me privately, I can share some information that might be helpful in persuading your family not to rely on junk science like the polygraph for any important life decisions. I would also be willing to speak with you and your wife together regarding the unreliability of polygraphy. You'll find my contact information in my signature block.

You should know that you are far from alone in being falsely accused of deception about marital fidelity by a polygraph operator. There are many posts similar to yours on this board. See also the personal statement "How I Failed My Polygraph Exam" provided by Gary Smith.