This page has been a load of information. I've been lurking for a while now and I'll be sure to share my experience when I fail, or maybe even pass.  Sorry if some of my ideas seem off mark but this is what I've been thinking of and I think it may work.

I'll be taking a test at some point for one of the intel agencies, however, I don't want my failure of a test to affect my future employment opportunities.  From what I've gathered I have a number of strategies and then a couple of questions.  My strategies are based off the fact I'm knowingly going into the test lying on drug questions (oh yeh, by the way apparently we are also all pediphiles even though I can't spell the word). 
   I've been smoking since 7th grade, but haven't smoked for three months now.  It is not like it is a hobby or anything, just never really thought it was a big deal because I've always done well and have been able to smoke or not smoke depending on what I'm doing.  In short, I really don't care what the government thinks about what I was doing in Cairo five years ago getting baked, or if I wanted to chill out after finals over christmas break smoking bowls with family and friends.  When the job offer comes and they start paying then I start listening.  I plan on deceiving and lying, but all in the national interest because there needs to be some smart people who know what they are doing running the government.

Strategy:

1) Not argue or get mad at the examiner when he is trying to piss me off.  This includes no smart ass remarks or breaking his machine.  Instead I should answer his question in a straight forward manner even if I'm upset.  I'm assuming eye contact is important and a serious expression, but also occaisonal facial expressions of shock and "what is this guy talking about" looks.

2) Go in with an I can lie attitude.  I personally don't have a problem lying to people if they are assholes, which the examiner clearly is.  No guilt or remorse.  If I lied to somebody I cared about and I was truely remorseful for my actions then yes, signs of guilt would show up on the test. However, if I lie about something that I'm not remorseful about and feel no guilt, will it show up on the test?  For some reason I don't think they can, I really don't believe this machine can know a lie when it sees it.  Or is it God?

3) To get used to the idea of lying I might just start telling lies to everybody I know for a week before I take the exam.

3) Knowing that I'm going into the exam lying, I should just be confident in my answers. I would think that if you know your going to lie then it will be much easier to pass.  One strategy is that when they ask questions about drugs I should just stick to the story I told on my SF-86 and not deviate no matter what.   I remember one member using a great mindtrick which I had also thought of before I saw this site.  Basically when they ask questions that you know beforehand you plan on lying about, say, "Have you smoked marijuana in the past year?", the real question I should be asking myself is "Have I smoke crack in the past year?"(which I haven't ever) and respond to that.  There was once a politician who said something to the extent that you should not answer the question the journalist asks you, but rather the question you wish they had asked you.   

4) I still don't understand countermeasures.  So I won't use them and think it may be too difficult to use them under pressure.   

Questions:

1) Is pure confidence enough to pass?  Ironically, if you say yes my chances of passing may increase, and if you say no they will decrease.

2) How do you answer the question "Do you plan to lie on this test?"
My honest response to the examiner would be "that depends." However, I understand they want yes or no answers, and my telling them there is no such thing as black and white answers won't cut it. 
What happens if I say yes?  What happens if I say no?  What happens if I say I don't know we haven't taken the test yet?

3) If I remain tough and don't break down, just concentrate on taking all the testers crap without exploding will that suffice?  A friend of mine took the test and mentioned some of the things I've heard on this site and he just chategorically denied all the accusations. 

4) Will taking anxiety pills help?  Anyone can get these from the doctor for a number of reasons.  Another person on this site suggested muscile relaxers which I've never taken before and would never want to. I don't like taking pills, but any doctor will give people with fears of flying anxiety pills.

5) I like to run.  How would running 90 minutes (12-13 miles) before the test affect results?  I would think that could possibly "jam' the machine or be very deceptive.  Worst case scenario is that if you don't pass you can tell the examiner you want another test because you woke up 6am and ran a half marathon, right? 


Any comments or suggestions are appreciated.

Happy Ho Ho Ho

Go back to lurking.  Liars and dopers are not wanted in the public service.

nopolycop wrote on Dec 26^th, 2008 at 4:19am:


I agree.

If you are applying for a position of public trust you have an ethical responsibility to tell the truth.