Polygraph industry developing "Counter counter-measure" technology

In an effort to detect test subjects employing countermeasures during polygraph testing, the polygraph industry has enlisted the help of a leading sex toy manufacturer to detect unauthorized "anus puckering" during polygraph testing.

Current proto-type is, in essence, an electronic "butt plug" which detects and measures vibrations produced by the spincter muscle.  Measurements are then transmitted, using wireless technology, to a central control unit operated by polygraph technicians.  "Polygrapahers are very excited about this advanced technology", claimed Polly Anne Pucker, company representative.

When asked how the industry proposes to have the test subject voluntarily insert the device prior to testing, Pucker refused comment.