I've got a fantastic idea. Why don't you (Chris600) dye your hair jet-black, get some pectoral implants, and tell the HR department that you like hang-gliding and that you're dating a supermodel. Tell some pre-written humorous antecdotes, remind them that you are a ninja, and don't forget to impress them with stories of your special forces training. And most of all, steadfastly deny being nervous at dizzying heights and that if a jelly fish (or a scorpion) attached to your face you would laugh (even in a cold rain.) Better yet, when you get to the question regarding what if anything you would change about yourself, choose the answer: "that I could be even more precious."

At the risk of sounding like Holden from "Catcher in the Rye", is there anything more pathetic than a phoney?

answer: yes, a dumbass phoney