The title says it all. Today, about three hours ago, I returned from a six hour-long examination at the Secret Service's Brooklyn office here in NYC that began at 9 AM.
Let me first say that I was told not to do any research at all into the polygraph and that I foolishly followed this advice. Thus I didn't know about the overwhelming scientific evidence showing that polygraph exams are virtually unreliable, including the consistent fact about fifty percent of truthful people will fail the polygraph. I found this website only a few minutes ago as I began to actually research the polygraph exam to learn more about the experience I'd just been subjected to.
I was asked the same set of questions four times each. This was followed by a 15-20 minute break, and then the same questions were asked again in different ways, again four times for each set. Standard stuff it seemed: have you ever experimented with drugs, are you prepared to tell the truth for these questions, etc.
At any rate, according to the two agents, I consistently failed the drug question, according to their readings. Now, I don't know about you people who've taken this exam before, but I was nervous as hell throughout the whole process and only started calming down towards the end when the whole thing started becoming depressing and I knew that it was going bad anyways. I could literally feel myself react nervously to the test giver's questions and I could picture myself putting clear reactions on her computer screen. I was also filled with anxiety because this is basically my career: I screw this up and it's over. It also didn't help my concentration that each of the questions was prefaced with a pause, so I was a bit suprised by each one, as she said them suddenly and quickly it seemed. I'm sure that posted up reactions on the monitor as well.
Well, now the experience got even better. Now, as they escorted me to the test taking room one last time from the room they stuck me in to wait it out as they deliberated on their findings, they said enough was enough, no other test taking was necessary as they had the results, and virtually branded me a liar on the spot. Certainly the male agent did. He had the most bored and detached manner throughout the whole process, even when he was talking to me he seemed barely engaged, and it really angered me.
I then spent the next three hours literally telling them about my entire life in detail since grade 1 till the present, most of which had nothing to do with questions themselves. It was just I guess a futile attempt to get the two agents to see past the wavy lines and into my character, my ethics, morals, etc. I don't know if it helped at all, but it certainly was humiliating in the end as I tried to make them understand who I am. Even then, they wouldn't listen to me for at least an hour or so and kept accusing me of lying to them, of having holes in my 'stories', of holding back information, etc. I just couldn't get them to understand I really haven't taken any drugs at all, never experimented with any of that stuff (and I'm not passing judgement on those who do or have done so). It also didn't help that the main test giver, the lady, had this hardcore attitude from the beginning that once a liar/cheat/etc, always and then on, with no going back; there's no turning over a new leaf to her. That seemed pretty darn extreme, even though it didn't apply to me. Or maybe it did, since now it's clear, according to this machine, that I'm some sort of pathological liar. They kept saying to lay out everything on the table, no matter how small and insignificant, and wouldn't listen to me when I said it was all there, before proceeding to tell my life story. Well, sorry, but the universe would have to end if that was the case of me not laying everything out because I'd then be pulling something non-existant out of nowhere.
Oh, and in addition to all this loveliness, the male agent essentially accused me of taking steroids and that steroids are what I was trying to cover in the drug question. Yeah, so only with roids can a 170 lb guy in highschool, years later, become a bigger, stronger, faster, etc, guy at 235 lbs? That really pissed me off, frankly. The guy had no idea how much training I've put into lifting, the drive I had, and still have, not to be small and weak anymore. How much research into nutrition, traditional supplements like whey protein, etc.
All in all, it was a terrible, time-wasting experience, and I had a major headache on the way home, along with a sore right arm from having the blood flow reduced constantly. The polygraph was bad enough, since I was already nervous before and throughout the test, but then to be essentially interrogated afterwards...? I don't know if it was an act to try and squeeze me for additional confessions (I remained adamant the entire time about drugs and other items they kept beating me for; there was no way in hell I was going to admit to something that simply didn't exist) or something else, but it was bad regardless.
And if they were trying to trick me or squeeze me, well, that puts their whole argument about the moral integrity of their organization right out the window. I understand they can't have the wrong person entering the organization, but this experience was just...wrong. I don't know how else to express it. It was very depressing, like I was the bad guy to be caught and there was nothing I could do or say to prove otherwise. I felt I was being systematically broken down and judged by two complete strangers, while all the while feeling the need to reveal, as my only defense, personal information about my life only my fiancee, family, and close friends know about.
Anyways, in the end they said I'd be called in about 16-18 days if I get the chance to take the exam again. But I've got other law enforcement jobs lined up too in the meantime, like the NYPD exam in October. Somehow, I'll get into law enforcement, polygraphs and interrogations be damned. It's where I want to be. But the idea of taking another polygraph exam, only to become nervous as hell and offer up the same readings again, has no appeal whatsoever. In the end though, I'll most likely still take the opportunity if it's offered. The Secret Service is a good organization and I want to join the Uniform Division; I want to join their team. But it was still a horrible day.
I apologize for the long rant, somewhat off topic as well, about everything. I just had to get this off my chest as it was so frustrating, even though I've already talked with family, my fiancee, and friends about today. I realize this could be officially read and passed on, but frankly I just don't care right now. And after reading similar reports of what's happened at other polygraph tests, it's good to know I'm not the only one who felt, well, to be frank, shocked by the whole affair.
Thanks.
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