Hi I'm new here.... I'll give a little history so this makes some bit of sense.... (try to keep it short)
I am a mom to 3 boys. (5, 3, and 1) Two of wich are from a previous relationship that ended in August of 02'. We were never married so just had a verbal agreement about visitation, child support, etc. Things went smoothly for a little while but that didn't last long.
My ex was arrested for domestic violence on me when I went to pick up my children from a weekend visit.... I stopped visitation for a while after that but I felt bad keeping his kids from him so visitation resumed and everything went fairly smooth until Dec of 03'. My 2 oldest stayed with their father while I was in the hospital having my youngest (4days) When I picked them up after getting out of the hospital they were smelly from not being bathed so straight to the tub they went. My oldest at the time was 3 and he was complaining his butt hurt. I looked and it was really red. When I asked him what happened he said Daddy spanked my butt and pointed to his anus. All these thoughts were running through my head, could this be true? I have to take him to the hospital, oh my god what if they take my kids. I was just freaking out! I decided not to take my son for fear of dcf taking my children. There was no legal paperwork saying the kids had to go visit with him so I just figured I would keep them away from him. I comfronted him via email and asked him if there was any explination, etc. In turn he called DCF on me saying I was abusing and neglecting my children. They came out, I explained everything to them and the case wound up closed, unfounded. In Feb of 04' I was served papers, he was taking me to court and wanted full custody claiming I was unstable and unfit!!!! I hired a lawyer and basically all that came out of it was he was given visitation and ordered to pay child support. (this was about august of 04) The first of november my oldest son came home from a 3hr visit complaining his butt hurt and telling me that his dad poked his butt with a screwdriver. I took him to the ER, they barely touched him, said he was fine. Police came out, my son told them as well as a nurse very clearly what had happened. When we went to the child advocacy center the next day, my son was what they said to be too wishy washy to testify. HELLO he was 4!!!? I hired a private therapist to wich my son told everything to. He even showed her on dolls. But because my son showed no fear during a visit with his father and the therapist my lawyer said we had to resume visitation. In March of this year my boys came home from an overnight visit, straight to the tub they go, my oldest said (now 5) that dad poked his butt with his finger. I called his pediatrician this time, went immediatly down there and he examined him. He had abrasians on his anus, was extremely red. The doc videod him and took swabs for DNA Testing. DCF and police came out, another CAC visit.. too wishy washy but with evidence visitation was taken away. The doc did a recheck the next day to access healing and even narrowed down the hours to when he was with his father. We've been back and forth to court, continue, continue, continue. Last court date my ex's attny wanted me to take a polygraph to prove I wasn't putting these things in my sons head. So I said ok. I have nothing to hide! Well yesterday (friday) afternoon I get a call from my attny, I have to be to the polygraph guys office 9am saturday morning (1.5 hrs away) So I reschedule my weekend plans and go. That was this morning....
When I was given the paperwork to sign that said I didn't have to take the test, I was voluntarily doing it blablaa... I asked if I would get a copy. The guy said no, you will have to get that from his lawyer. Oh that should be fun. She's a B on wheels. That in itself made me uneasy. I'm non offending party in this matter... I'm doing this to prove that I didnt' put this in my sons head and I can't get a copy of my own test!? He referred to my ex as Tom, never used his full name and his attny as Robyn. Never used her full name either. And he asked me to give a history on the situation so I told him all of it... and he said well you are here at the request of robin because they feel you are putting this in your sons head and sometimes in these situations that happens, blabaa. I signed the paper, though all of my being told me WALK OUT.
Well I FAILED. I did not put these things in my sons head, I did not tell him to tell the police his father did this to him. I've done nothing but try to be a good mother, protect my children, and all I've ever told my son to do is TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just can't believe this. I'm the bad guy now and the creep walks..... I just don't know what to do.
Carey
Florida