My marriage is at risk!
I suspect my wife is cheating on me. There are rumors about her and the mailman.
I love my wife and we've been married for over 20 years and have six kids.
My wife denies these charges, but I want her to take a polygraph to set my mind at peace.
I heard the test is 95-98% accurate.
I figure those are pretty good odds, and am willing to let the results determine the future status of our relationship.
Problem is, I don't know of any good polygraphers, and I DON'T HAVE A CLOSET LARGE ENOUGH TO HOLD A TEST.
Please help!
;D ;D ;D
TC
I can loan you my old anolog unit. The galvanic tips are a little rusty. Cleanable with oxalic acid (removes rust). I haven't been through the Marsteeen Academy or any other APA approved school therefore, I can't legally instruct you how to use it. If I gave the test, my first relative question would be: "Do you find me attractive"? If her answer was yes, I would put her on my trusty steed and we would ride into the sunrise. No sunset, man. I'm afraid of the dark. Hell, a polygrapher might do the same thing. Be careful.
Mr Cullen,
instead, let's test you! I'm sure we can come to some sort of arangement to ensure you won't, er, I mean, will pass....Yeah! I know, I'll just fall pseudo-asleep during testing then you squeeze your butt whenever I ask a question. That should do it... ;D
Sackett
Quote from: PhilGainey on Apr 08, 2008, 10:55 PMMr Cullen,
instead, let's test you! I'm sure we can come to some sort of arangement to ensure you won't, er, I mean, will pass....Yeah! I know, I'll just fall pseudo-asleep during testing then you squeeze your butt whenever I ask a question.
So, does your polygraph machine have a butt pad? If so, why?
"n.p.c.",
1. yes.
2. because I wanted to spend the money on worthless technology supporting my pseudo-scientific procedure for "lie detection..."
Sackett
P.S. To honest readers of this post, my answer is simple sarcasm towards the question and not intended to be considered real. As you probably know, there is considerable animosity and angst between examiners and the misled "victims" of polygraph. I hope my effort at simplistic humor was not insulting to your sensitivities, as I hope it is towards the anti-polygraph legions.
Quote from: PhilGainey on Apr 09, 2008, 10:14 PM"n.p.c.",
1. yes.
2. because I wanted to spend the money on worthless technology supporting my pseudo-scientific procedure for "lie detection..."
Sackett
P.S. To honest readers of this post, my answer is simple sarcasm towards the question and not intended to be considered real. As you probably know, there is considerable animosity and angst between examiners and the misled "victims" of polygraph. I hope my effort at simplistic humor was not insulting to your sensitivities, as I hope it is towards the anti-polygraph legions.
And, it also is another example of Sackett's unwillingness to answer simple, honest questions directly.
Quote from: PhilGainey on Apr 09, 2008, 09:51 AMQuote from: PhilGainey on Apr 08, 2008, 10:55 PMMr Cullen,
instead, let's test you! I'm sure we can come to some sort of arangement to ensure you won't, er, I mean, will pass....Yeah! I know, I'll just fall pseudo-asleep during testing then you squeeze your butt whenever I ask a question.
So, does your polygraph machine have a butt pad? If so, why?
OK. I guess some people can't figure out things on their own. Here we go, and for "nopolycop", I will type slowly...
YOU asked: "So, does your polygraph machine have a butt pad"
I answered: "Yes"
YOU asked: "If so, why?"
I answered: sarcastically. Get it?! What does it matter WHY I have a butt pad? I have one! George has addressed the purpose of them here... Is there a break down in common sense here or do you have a real question which DESERVES an answer? Ask away...
Additionally, stop accusing me of not answering things when I clearly do. It makes you look petty...
Sackett
I guess that's the best you can do, that being to defer to George's expertise to answer questions regarding the use of counter measures, because you either do not know the answers, or unwilling to tell the truth about them. I can accept that.
But, when I ask a question, I expect an honest answer, not a sarcastic one. Answering an honest question with a sarcastic answer is not answering the question directly and honestly.
And this, as if I get questions asked and answered " directly and honestly."
All I ever seem to get is attacked! Oh well! So much for friendly discourse...
Sackett
I must say, that was some rather interesting reading. ;)
Here's a little chuckle for y'all. My youngest son overheard a conversion I was having about polygraghs, well, little Mr. Curiosity asked " What's a polygragh? " I informed him " It's a special test macine to see if you are lying." He replied " What does anyone need a machine for that? Don't they have Mom's to look and see if their tongues turned black?" ;D
Out of the mouths of Babes
Cat,
you see, there are a few pissed off individuals here.
Pissed off they failed a test they "should" have passed. >:(Pissed off they didn't get the job they so believe they deserve. >:( Pissed off that everyone but them feels that the polygraph, while being far from perfect, is the only modern way we can determined when people are less than truthful and hiding things. >:(
So pissed off, they are willing to help terrorists and child molesters try to beat their examinations and examiners and continue their inappropriate behaviors, all the while justifying it by stating polygraph is not accurate and prone to massive false positives; because they feel they were. All, because they are so pissed off! >:(
Hope that explains your interesting read...
Sackett
Quote from: PhilGainey on May 16, 2008, 05:37 PMCat,
you see, there are a few pissed off individuals here.
Pissed off they failed a test they "should" have passed. >:(Pissed off they didn't get the job they so believe they deserve. >:( Pissed off that everyone but them feels that the polygraph, while being far from perfect, is the only modern way we can determined when people are less than truthful and hiding things. >:(
So pissed off, they are willing to help terrorists and child molesters try to beat their examinations and examiners and continue their inappropriate behaviors, all the while justifying it by stating polygraph is not accurate and prone to massive false positives; because they feel they were. All, because they are so pissed off! >:(
Hope that explains your interesting read...
Sackett
As I am sure you are aware, Cat, the above quoted post is the opinion of a polygraph examiner.
He is unable to see any other reasons for people being on this board than the ones he has listed. I would say that shows how closed-minded he is; it does not show how the members of this board think.