I recently took a polygraph for the Secret Service Uniformed Division.  Until that point I was highly qualified for the job.  I knew that I had proven myself to be a top candidate and I thought that the polygraph was just a formality or at least partially accurate.  Unfortunately it was none of these things.  All that I knew about the polygraph before I took it was that it will be "the worst four hours of your life".  This is what several Secret Service agents told me before I went in.  Needless to say this made me a bit nervous.  I was even more nervous when I found out that a number of candidates who took the polygraph before me were failing the test during the drug use questions.  This is where it gets interesting.  I've never done, bought, sold, transported or even thought about doing any illegal drugs.  I've never even smoked a cigarette in my life but for some reason the agents never believed me when I told them this.  At one point I was told by an agent that if "I were to go home tonight and suddenly remember that I had done drugs then it wouldn't be too late to change that section of your application".  I got the feeling that they actually wanted me to go home and do drugs just so I'd have something to admit to.  When I actually took the test I was so nervous that I failed for 3 things including drugs and serious crimes.  I couldn't believe it.  I had spent my entire life being "good" just so I could live out my dream and be in the Secret Service. It only took them one moment to take that all away from me.  What should I do?  These people disgraced me and I can't do anything about it.  I just want my reputation back.  Would it be a waste of my time and money to sue them?  I just can't believe that our "elite" law enforcement agencies actually rely on the notion there is such a thing as a "lie detector".      

Dear screwed,
    Welcome to our club, you are now an honorary member. This sucks doesn't it? 

     THE POLYGRAPH
It is an unfortunate fate that we all share - I
am deeply saddened by the actions of the examiner
and his cronies - but even more saddened that these
are the guys who are protecting the Republic.

While violent crime, predjudice and drugs tear our
country apart, hard working, tax paying and law
obeying candidates are being robbed of their 
dignity through the abuse of a machine that measures
sweat and heart rate.  Once all the law abiders have been successfully removed from the applicant pool then all that are left are good actors and or liers.

I cannot over estimate the tremendous fear I have for the future of our country.

God help you.  The same thing happened to my brother and I've lost all of the faith that I've had in our outdated and ludacris system of law enforcement.  As far as I'm concerned the method with which we prosecute our criminals is equivalent to the Salem witch trials. It freightens me that an agency as inept as the Secret Service is entrusted with so many truly important duties.