Dan Mangan wrote on Sep 1
st, 2017 at 12:33pm:
Such enlightenment dispels concern about the outcome.
In my case, such enlightenment
brought on an uncontrollable concern for the outcome.
I'd read, I understood, and I believed that the "test" was indeed flawed, and that there was a thing called a FALSE POSITIVE. I was a cracked egg in the omelet and I couldn't do anything about it.
The most important thing I learned is that the fear of failure causes a reaction that mimics the one that is interpreted as a lie.
Once the interrogator said that I was lying, there was no going back. The bombardment of horrible accusations brought on my fight, or flight reaction - every time. I was scared shitless that I wouldn't
not react when they asked the goddamn question. I knew his sensors were registering my fear to failing the question - but what could I do? I would even ask myself the question while driving to work - to practice trying to remain calm - and couldn't do it. It wasn't the meaning of the question that bothered me, it was the question itself. I must have "failed" (reacted) to the question over 1000 times.
It starts like little butterflies, the kind like you get when you see flashing red and blue lights in your rear view mirror. You haven't done anything wrong, but you still get the butterflies. When you are abused like this five times in three years, those butterflies turn to bats and you suffer a nervous breakdown. The last time I was polygraphed, in August 2015, at DIA Headquarters, I was seen immediately afterwards by two DIA psychologists - Drs. Jill Tucillo and Richard Ault (tele # 703-735-1735/1736).
I was granted a disability retirement by DIA in September, 2015, for psychological reasons. I'm in the appeals process for workers' compensation and I have also filed an appeal to EEO for disparate treatment and failure to provide reasonable accommodations.
So far, the Agency has been able to sidestep everyone, even the DOD OIG, by lying. Ironic, isn't it? They have also testified to federal judges that they are following all applicable rules and regulations. I have it on record.
I still get those intense butterflies, but thanks to therapy and anxiolytic medication I can now properly function (my wife will probably tell you otherwise).