I had a job with a L.E. agency this week.  I just had to pass my polygraph and physical and i was ready to go.  This was the first polygraph test that i've ever taken and i was not nervous at all about passing it.  I have nothing to hide so i knew that i would ace it.  Was i wrong. 

After finishing the test the examiner told me there was one question we needed to go over.  He said i wasn't being truthful with him when he asked me, "Have you ever stole a car, abused stolen credit cards, forged any type of documents, committed assault or assault with a deadly weapon, or participated in prostitution?".  He said that i have done one of them and wasn't telling him about it.  I was in shock and didn't know what to say.  I had never even taken candy from a store when i was a kid, much less anything of the nature of these crimes!!   

At this point it turned into somewhat of an interrogation.  He tried for 15 minutes to get me to own up to whatever it was i wasn't telling him about.  It was like he just wanted me to make something up to validate his test.  He even told me that maybe it wasn't one of the listed crimes that was making me nervous, but maybe something else.  He said, "maybe you've shot a deer on someone elses property and you feel guilty about it.".  Not sure where he came up with that example.   He said i was hiding something.  I told him that i had nothing to hide and if this cost me the job then so be it.  Well it cost me the job.

I was also asked whether or not i had the integrity to perform this job.  How did i pass that question?  If i've committed a crime that he seemed to so strongly believe that i have, wouldn't that weigh on my mind and cause me to maybe feel that i didn't have the integrity to be a police officer?  Just doesn't make any sense. Ridiculous!

I walked out of that office in total disbelief.  I had an empty feeling that i can't explain.  I had just went in and told the truth to every question that was asked of me yet still didn't pass the test.  I am now without the job i was so sure i had in the bag. 

My confusion soon turned to anger.  I was a little skeptical of these test going in and now i can say that polygraph testing is bogus!  I can now say that with 100% certainty.   
Why this stuff is still used as a screening tool for any agency is beyond me.  The polygraph needs to go away.   

If you want to find out about someone's character it should be done through records and actual people only.  Interview teachers, parents, friends, and just people in general that knew the applicant.  If you talk to enough people the person's true identity will shine through.  If the agencies would actually take the time and put in the effort to track people down and talk to them they would be able to find out about a person's true character.  In my case they could of found out that i've never in my life commited any crime other than traffic violations.   

If you believe in the polygraph you might as well believe in the tooth fairy.  It's BOGUS!!!!!!!!!

""Have you ever stole a car, abused stolen credit cards, forged any type of documents, committed assault or assault with a deadly weapon, or participated in prostitution?""

I may be thinking too logically here, but if the interrogator thinks his machine is so useful, why didn't he craft a series of questions to discriminate among those five crimes?  Surely he could have put more pressure on you if he at least had a better idea of what he thinks you did.

Accusing you of possibly one of such a varied range of behaviors proves that he in fact had no idea what he was talking about.  You were very wise to insist on your innocence instead of wracking your brain to try to figure out what was causing the polygraph to react erroneously.

-Aunty Agony.