I've long been fascinated by the role of the lie detector in American pop culture, one aspect of which is commercial advertising. Today at 1 PM Eastern time, Burger King webcasted a publicity stunt that involved NASCAR driver Tony "Smoke" Stewart taking a lie detector test wherein he answered some 30 questions putatively submitted by members of the public in addition to five questions about his history of eating hamburgers in general and his affinity for Burger King hamburgers in particular. Burger King is among Stewart's paying sponsors.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I couldn't help but watch, and I'd like to share some observations. First, it was a familiar face administering the polygraph: John Grogan of Los Angeles. You know, the same John Grogan who in 2002 had his private investigator license, private patrol operator license, baton permit, and firearm permit revoked and was ordered to pay $21,800 for the California Bureau of Security and Investigative Services's investigation and prosecution costs?

During the webcast, the presenter asked Mr. Grogan how long he has been doing polygraphs. Grogan didn't give a precise answer, saying merely (if memory serves) that he has been doing them for "years and years." Later in the webcast, the presenter stated more than once that Grogan has been performing polygraph tests for more than two decades. It's worth noting, however, that Grogan's only polygraph training certificate on public record is one awarded to him by retired U.S. Secret Service Agent Joseph Paolella in 2004, a mere five years ago. (That certificate appears as an attachment to the complaint for damages that Grogan filed against Joseph Paolella and others in a 2008 lawsuit that has apparently been settled and/or withdrawn.)

While the web spectacle was represented as a real polygraph examination, it's worth noting that three of the four channels on the polygraph instrument as shown during the webcast were flatlined -- exhibiting precisely the same characterstics that one would expect from a dead body:




Now, polygraphy is pseudoscientific nonsense to begin with. But the charts shown during this web production don't even pass the giggle test. And it's clear that Grogan wasn't relying on them in determining whether to give Stewart a "thumbs up" or a "thumbs down" for each question.

Well, wouldn't you know it, John Grogan divined that Tony Stewart was telling the truth when he averred that he loves Burger King hamburgers!




The whole sordid spectacle is to be repeated on-line at 9 PM Eastern tonight.

I'm with Mr. Cullen.  Grogan ripped off a friend of mine using the trusted "voice stress analyzer" so I have a personal "beef."  Why in the world would BK even bother with this stunt, much less use an individual convicted of ripping people off.  If you go into the BBB site for Los Angeles and type in John Grogan you will see that his business has an "F" rating.