What kind of questions will be asked that might lead me to confess an affair?  Are there are instances where I can admit to an affair and still keep my TopSecret clearance with the CIA?  It happened once after I have been married for many years - just so happens that this is very recent and I am switching companies...I fear the change of jobs may trigger my poly since it's overdue.  I'm feeling a bit raw these days and it's just not a good time for me mentally to be polyed.

I'm not saying that what happened is right. I know why it happened and actually was seeking medical/mental help just prior to it happening .  I knew I was susceptible and I sought help.  I think it was too little too late.

I'm trying to decide if I should try to find a job that uses a lesser clearance (so that I don't lose it all by a failed poly) or should I try to admit nothing and risk losing my great salary (and getting all the questions from friends and family).  I don't lie well.  My last poly took 3 times and I had nothing to hide.  Each one seems to get worse for me. I would never do anything that could leak secure info....   

Should I just walk away from my career and start over?  Or, change jobs and wait to see what happens on my next poly?  It seems easier to let my clearance go at this point but I truly don't think I'm a security risk.

Wow - that stuff made me feel worse, not better.

The only way you will get away with this in your polygraph is if you confess it to your wife because they will ask you if you confided in your spouse.  Obviously, that can be used as black mail.   

If you admit to this in the poly and you haven't told your wife, expect to fail.