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I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! (Read 7881 times)

T.M. Cullen God Member Offline Posts: 858 Location: Hawaii Joined: Dec 5^th, 2007 Gender:	I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Apr 5^th, 2008 at 7:28pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	My marriage is at risk! I suspect my wife is cheating on me. There are rumors about her and the mailman. I love my wife and we've been married for over 20 years and have six kids. My wife denies these charges, but I want her to take a polygraph to set my mind at peace. I heard the test is 95-98% accurate. I figure those are pretty good odds, and am willing to let the results determine the future status of our relationship. Problem is, I don't know of any good polygraphers, and I DON'T HAVE A CLOSET LARGE ENOUGH TO HOLD A TEST. Please help!

	"There is no direct and unequivocal connection between lying and these physiological states of arousal...(referring to polygraph)." Dr. Phil Zimbardo, Phd, Standford University
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Twoblock God Member Offline Posts: 732 Location: AR. Joined: Oct 15^th, 2002 Gender:	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #1 - Apr 5^th, 2008 at 10:19pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	TC I can loan you my old anolog unit. The galvanic tips are a little rusty. Cleanable with oxalic acid (removes rust). I haven't been through the Marsteeen Academy or any other APA approved school therefore, I can't legally instruct you how to use it. If I gave the test, my first relative question would be: "Do you find me attractive"? If her answer was yes, I would put her on my trusty steed and we would ride into the sunrise. No sunset, man. I'm afraid of the dark. Hell, a polygrapher might do the same thing. Be careful.


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sackett Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 347 Joined: Jan 31^st, 2008	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #2 - Apr 9^th, 2008 at 2:55am	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	Mr Cullen, instead, let's test you! I'm sure we can come to some sort of arangement to ensure you won't, er, I mean, will pass....Yeah! I know, I'll just fall pseudo-asleep during testing then you squeeze your butt whenever I ask a question. That should do it... Sackett


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nopolycop Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 383 Joined: Oct 20^th, 2007	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #3 - Apr 9^th, 2008 at 1:51pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	sackett wrote on Apr 9^th, 2008 at 2:55am: Mr Cullen, instead, let's test you! I'm sure we can come to some sort of arangement to ensure you won't, er, I mean, will pass....Yeah! I know, I'll just fall pseudo-asleep during testing then you squeeze your butt whenever I ask a question. So, does your polygraph machine have a butt pad? If so, why?

	"Although the degree of reliability of polygraph evidence may depend upon a variety of identifiable factors, there is simply no way to know in a particular case whether a polygraph examiner's Conclusion is accurate, because certain doubts and uncertainties plague even the best polygraph exams." (Justice Clarence Thomas writing in United States v. Scheffer, 523 U.S. 303, 118 S.Ct. 1261, 140 L.Ed.2d 413, 1998.)
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sackett Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 347 Joined: Jan 31^st, 2008	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #4 - Apr 10^th, 2008 at 2:14am	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	"n.p.c.", 1. yes. 2. because I wanted to spend the money on worthless technology supporting my pseudo-scientific procedure for "lie detection..." Sackett P.S. To honest readers of this post, my answer is simple sarcasm towards the question and not intended to be considered real. As you probably know, there is considerable animosity and angst between examiners and the misled "victims" of polygraph. I hope my effort at simplistic humor was not insulting to your sensitivities, as I hope it is towards the anti-polygraph legions.


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nopolycop Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 383 Joined: Oct 20^th, 2007	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #5 - Apr 10^th, 2008 at 1:26pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	sackett wrote on Apr 10^th, 2008 at 2:14am: "n.p.c.", 1. yes. 2. because I wanted to spend the money on worthless technology supporting my pseudo-scientific procedure for "lie detection..." Sackett P.S. To honest readers of this post, my answer is simple sarcasm towards the question and not intended to be considered real. As you probably know, there is considerable animosity and angst between examiners and the misled "victims" of polygraph. I hope my effort at simplistic humor was not insulting to your sensitivities, as I hope it is towards the anti-polygraph legions. And, it also is another example of Sackett's unwillingness to answer simple, honest questions directly.

	"Although the degree of reliability of polygraph evidence may depend upon a variety of identifiable factors, there is simply no way to know in a particular case whether a polygraph examiner's Conclusion is accurate, because certain doubts and uncertainties plague even the best polygraph exams." (Justice Clarence Thomas writing in United States v. Scheffer, 523 U.S. 303, 118 S.Ct. 1261, 140 L.Ed.2d 413, 1998.)
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sackett Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 347 Joined: Jan 31^st, 2008	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #6 - Apr 11^th, 2008 at 3:27am	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	nopolycop wrote on Apr 9^th, 2008 at 1:51pm: sackett wrote on Apr 9^th, 2008 at 2:55am: Mr Cullen, instead, let's test you! I'm sure we can come to some sort of arangement to ensure you won't, er, I mean, will pass....Yeah! I know, I'll just fall pseudo-asleep during testing then you squeeze your butt whenever I ask a question. So, does your polygraph machine have a butt pad? If so, why? OK. I guess some people can't figure out things on their own. Here we go, and for "nopolycop", I will type slowly... YOU asked: "So, does your polygraph machine have a butt pad" I answered: "Yes" YOU asked: "If so, why?" I answered: sarcastically. Get it?! What does it matter WHY I have a butt pad? I have one! George has addressed the purpose of them here... Is there a break down in common sense here or do you have a real question which DESERVES an answer? Ask away... Additionally, stop accusing me of not answering things when I clearly do. It makes you look petty... Sackett


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nopolycop Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 383 Joined: Oct 20^th, 2007	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #7 - Apr 11^th, 2008 at 1:52pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	I guess that's the best you can do, that being to defer to George's expertise to answer questions regarding the use of counter measures, because you either do not know the answers, or unwilling to tell the truth about them. I can accept that. But, when I ask a question, I expect an honest answer, not a sarcastic one. Answering an honest question with a sarcastic answer is not answering the question directly and honestly.

	"Although the degree of reliability of polygraph evidence may depend upon a variety of identifiable factors, there is simply no way to know in a particular case whether a polygraph examiner's Conclusion is accurate, because certain doubts and uncertainties plague even the best polygraph exams." (Justice Clarence Thomas writing in United States v. Scheffer, 523 U.S. 303, 118 S.Ct. 1261, 140 L.Ed.2d 413, 1998.)
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sackett Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 347 Joined: Jan 31^st, 2008	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #8 - Apr 12^th, 2008 at 6:40pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	And this, as if I get questions asked and answered " directly and honestly." All I ever seem to get is attacked! Oh well! So much for friendly discourse... Sackett


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cat New User Offline Posts: 23 Joined: May 13^th, 2008	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #9 - May 16^th, 2008 at 7:49pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	I must say, that was some rather interesting reading. Here's a little chuckle for y'all. My youngest son overheard a conversion I was having about polygraghs, well, little Mr. Curiosity asked " What's a polygragh? " I informed him " It's a special test macine to see if you are lying." He replied " What does anyone need a machine for that? Don't they have Mom's to look and see if their tongues turned black?" Out of the mouths of Babes


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sackett Especially Senior User Offline Posts: 347 Joined: Jan 31^st, 2008	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #10 - May 16^th, 2008 at 9:37pm	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	Cat, you see, there are a few pissed off individuals here. Pissed off they failed a test they "should" have passed. Pissed off they didn't get the job they so believe they deserve. Pissed off that everyone but them feels that the polygraph, while being far from perfect, is the only modern way we can determined when people are less than truthful and hiding things. So pissed off, they are willing to help terrorists and child molesters try to beat their examinations and examiners and continue their inappropriate behaviors, all the while justifying it by stating polygraph is not accurate and prone to massive false positives; because they feel they were. All, because they are so pissed off! Hope that explains your interesting read... Sackett


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Sergeant1107 God Member Offline Posts: 730 Location: Connecticut, USA Joined: May 21^st, 2005 Gender:	Re: I NEED YOUR HELP!!!! Reply #11 - May 17^th, 2008 at 5:45am	Mark & Quote Quote Print Post
	sackett wrote on May 16^th, 2008 at 9:37pm: Cat, you see, there are a few pissed off individuals here. Pissed off they failed a test they "should" have passed. Pissed off they didn't get the job they so believe they deserve. Pissed off that everyone but them feels that the polygraph, while being far from perfect, is the only modern way we can determined when people are less than truthful and hiding things. So pissed off, they are willing to help terrorists and child molesters try to beat their examinations and examiners and continue their inappropriate behaviors, all the while justifying it by stating polygraph is not accurate and prone to massive false positives; because they feel they were. All, because they are so pissed off! Hope that explains your interesting read... Sackett As I am sure you are aware, Cat, the above quoted post is the opinion of a polygraph examiner. He is unable to see any other reasons for people being on this board than the ones he has listed. I would say that shows how closed-minded he is; it does not show how the members of this board think.

	Lorsque vous utilisez un argumentum ad hominem, tout le monde sait que vous êtes intellectuellement faillite.
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