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Never mind that I've passed three polygraphs using the countermeasures in The Lie Behind The Lie Detector, or that I failed a 'lie detection test' prior to reading the book even though I was telling the truth. Forget that the stupid polygraph, in the Control Lie Question format, BANKS on the examinee lying in order to determine wether or not they're telling the truth on the Relevant Questions. (This alone should really raise a red flag) Toss out the window the fact that on all three polygraphs, the polygraphers varied in their aggression, tactics and style. Flush down the toilet the fact that there has YET to be an accurate study done to determine how well polygraphers can or cannot detect countermeasures (sorry, no a bunch of college kids who might get movie tickets doesn't count). Ignore that most polygraphers try to interrogate and coerce confessions out of examinees no matter their stupid machines tell them, or that a polygrapher's only purpose in life is to get an examinee to admit they lie. In fact, let's also disregard that some polygraphers get paid by the confession. Let's also ditch how unethical it is to tell someone you're on THEIR side during a hiring process when in reality all you're trying to do is disqualify them. In fact, let's pay no attention for the moment to the fact that part of the problem with testing this stupid, unethical process is that experiments can't get past ethics boards at colleges precisely BECAUSE polygraph testing is so brutally stressful and deceptive. Disregard, ditch, throw to the dogs, throw out the window, all of the above. I, as an applicant processing with law enforcement, ask THIS of the star-gazing, lying, slime-ball, hypocritical, delusional, This-Works-Because-I-Say-It-Works closed-minded polygraph 'examiners:' What in the name of Zeus' holy hammer are those of us who have learned the basics of how polygraphy works (or, more accurately, doesn't work) wether through a friend in the system or The Lie Behind The Lie Detector, supposed to do the next time we walk into one of these exams? If you're ready to tell me, "just tell the truth" you truly do live in a dream world. You're lying about everything else. How can I possibly trust you to even ADMIT to your practices? Or tell me THAT agency's real policy on people who understand polygraphy? Polygraphs make the truth impossible. That's why this site is Google's second when one simply types in the word 'polygraph.' That's why these asinine polygraph/CVSA exams will one day draw to a close, why they're completely illegal in Minnesota and why so many law enforcement agencies have stopped using them. So enjoy it while it lasts, PropolyPatty or whatever your name is. You're as plastic as your name. 'Cause when this is all over, I wish I could be there the first time you put "Polygraph Examiner" on a resume. I hope you reap as much pain as you sowed.
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