Goood Morning AP Fellows.
I was surfing (not with the Pale one ) and came across a website that dispenses the following BS to potential clients. 
Have a read.
Have a laugh.

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Dear Potential Client,

Thank-you for the opportunity to introduce our new state-of-the-art LVA (Layered Voice Analysis). EMPS has the first of its kind truth verification/ lie-detection, call centre in South Africa, using this technology, The LVA is an innovative, highly advanced computerized system, specially designed to provide you with easy access to lie-detection/ truth verification.   
 

This tool was originally designed for the Mosaic (Israel Secret Service) to use for their investigations. As opposed to Voice Stress, the LVA does not analyse tremors of the voice, but rather the whole spectrum of the voice, including emotions. The system measures up to 3800 algorithms in the voice and can differentiate between different types of lies including jokes, white lies, defensive lies and offensive lies.

 

Why is LVA better than already available technologies?

n        The examiner does not need to make contact with examinee. The subject can be interviewed over the phone, saving time and money

n        Clients can run tests nationwide without huge cost implications- deal with issues in outer-lying areas

n        Tests take up to 10 minutes

n        Results are immediately available verbally and reports emailed within hours

n        Limitations of the polygraph do not apply as we can test pregnant woman, people with heart/breathing problems, epilepsy etc

n        The cost is only a fraction of other methods. Great discounts applicable to volumes

n        EMPS Veracity assessors can run tests in many languages

n        There is not yet a way for one to beat this test

n        Numerous worldwide studies show 94-96% accuracy with a trained examiner

n        Uses of the LVA: Pre-Employment test/CV Verification, Honesty Maintenance, Investigation purposes- specific issues

Regards,

Veracity Assessor