I posted this thread in the wrong forum. So I have reposted it here. Sorry about that. 

This is a great web site. I was starting to think I was the only polygraph hater. I am so glad I found this place. I know I am new, but I really need some help. I just got out of the Army and I am trying to get hired at a local law enforcement agency. I have a really good background and all three agencies I have applied to have been impressed. However I have to get hooked to that darn machine. I have taken them in the past and failed very single one I have taken. I have no idea why because I know darn good and well I did not lie. I have already been turned down by the Sheriff’s office because I failed their voice stress test. That is a crock of nuts right there. I have never, and I mean never touched any drugs in my life. I hate them; they are one of the driving forces behind me to be a cop. However, I failed a drug question. How in the hell did that happen? This is my last chance. If I fail the polygraph with the local police department I might has well let the house go. Because I will sure as hell be out of money by then. Any ideas on how I can beat that darn box?

Thanks. I'll read through it and see what I can do. How common is the problem I have? I have never been able to pass one of those things and I have never lied on one. There is no way a machine can accurately read every person out there.

Thanks, I'll give that a shot. Today is the day.

lonesome00 ----better yet, during the Relevant Questions, close your eyes and picture a hot stove top in front of you. It's covered with pans of eggs and sausage----wait a minute, it's the back kitchen at Denny's, where you will be working next month as a line cook! Is it any wonder that so many would-be Houdinis get themselves locked in the trunk for attempting such fantastic feats---off of a web site no less. I think I will start a website which will assure people that I can teach them to be a world class surfer, without the person needing to get wet. Later I will send them to the North Shore of Owahu to paddle out and scream Outside Barrel! Outside Barrel! gurgle gurgle.
This site is hilarious!

Well, I took the test today and the results were inconclusive. That is the best I have ever done. I know that is worse than failing. The interrogator accused me of using counter measures. All I did was calm down and try to stay that way. I doubt I will get the job now. I think I passed. But because I told the tester how I truly feel about polygraphs, he deiced the outcome before it even happened. One more bit of proof that polygraphs are a fraud and should never be relied on.

I could not agree with you more.This guy had his mind made up about me before I even got hooked up. I gathered that during our conversation prior to the test. Now I have to find out if there is any way I can appeal it.

Because I recieved an inconclusive he is going to reccomend I do not get the job. So I do not see how I am better off.

Thank you for the encouragement. I hope they do look at the whole picture. If so, I think I stand more than a good shot. But I still can not get over how cocky that guy was. He laid one hell of a “I am the greatest” life story on me. I am sure most of it was part of his tactics to try and avoid any claims of wrong doing later.