Quote:
Her being involved with a married man could, by some people, be seen as:

- a weakness, easy to exploit
- a character flaw
- both
- neither

My advice to you is to stop involving her in your adultery, and tell her you have posted, in limited terms, limited mentions of her background. She will be well advised to steer clear of this arrangement as it will absolutely not be seen as "something good".

Keep in mind that I am not throwing stones, or judging anyone. I am simply stating what could be possible attitudes toward such arrangments. Even though she is not committing adultery, this type of 'moral' issue could be the focus of an intense polygraph session and/or disqualification under the previously mentioned views of exploitive weaknesses or a character flaw.

Additionally, unless NO ONE other than you and her have ever knowingly seen you two in public, it will be somewhat difficult to 'keep it discrete'. Betting on the 'I sincerely doubt that any of her references or their network know about it' is not a bet I would personally bet the farm on.

Although it is easier said than done, I myself would aprise her of these comments, and the possible stigmas or characterizations that could arise, and cut off the relationship immediately. Love is tough. But costing someone their desired career isn't easy.

I would absolutely not ask her to 'not admit it' on the polygraph. I would ask her to be honest with the polygrapher. This site does not condone lying and/or dishonesty (at least in my limited time here).   

The attitude of "it isn't any of their business" will not fly. If they make it their business, then it is their business. If she isn't open to their business, then she will be out of business.

Again, I am playing the role of the NSA agent who would ask whoever: "if she would sleep with a married man, what else would she do to protect him and their relationship? I mean, she doesn't mind helping him commit adultery, does that mean she would do something more severe? Can we assume she wouldn't?" 

You can see the possible prediciment someone could be in, given the decision to 'trust' her as a NSA agent or not.

Honestly, present her with the possibilites and choices. In the end it is her decision, but don't think that this entire situation couldn't realistically be a ticking timebomb.

(Just to clarify, I have never been married).

Tread carefully, honestly, and expeditiously.
Randy

Mr. Natural,

 First of all, thanks for such a great post; she will fit
in quite nicely at NSA !  Affairs at the Agency, are quite
common; I remember hearing about the chief of 
W Group, years ago, having an affair with a cleaning
lady, on the couch in his office one night (he got
reassigned, and she got fired).  Normally, if the
person employed is married, they will be given a
choice to resign, or admit to it in front of their spouse.
Also, pornography is rampant at the Agency.  There has
been sex in the parking lots (the basement garage of
the R&E Building), night-shift personnel in computer
rooms, and even at the top of a staircase in the OPS1
Building (a mattress was put up there).  Also, there was
a jumper, from the top floor of the OPS2A Building's
main staircase.   My polygrapher admitted to
masturbating to pornography on the Internet
(obviously, a ruse to get me to admit to it) - talk about
inappropriate ! He was the same clown, that denied 
knowing about counter-measures, although it is a
required course, at the DoDPI Polygraph Institute.

  Anyway, if I were her, I wouldn't open up the door
to any kind of sexual references during the polygraph
(she will get the life-style poly).  I heard of one female
applicant, that was accused of being, "a drug abusing
whore", by one of their polygraphers.  Also, if she gets
past the poly, the DoD investigators, for her TS
clearance, can ask about affairs (she had better not get
caught lying). 

 But amist all this chaos, the Agency finds the perfect
match - people with boundary problems, who are
comfortable keeping family secrets.  A lot of the
dysfunctional behavior, is the result of dysfunctional
backgrounds.

P.S. By the way, you have probably given the NSA poly
unit enough information to identify her - great stuff; you
just ruined her career !

NSAreject wrote on Mar 11^th, 2005 at 9:06pm:


lol. That is awesome!

Randy