Normal Topic Wife left me after polygraph told I cheated (Read 4312 times)
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Wife left me after polygraph told I cheated
Oct 29th, 2004 at 8:23pm
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Hi there, I live in South Africa and want to share my very personal experience being a victim of polygraph testing:

My wife believed that I cheated on her and asked me to go for a polygraph test. I never did cheat on my wife or anything close to that so I agreed.  She got a lady through a private agency which came to us with her equipment.

In the preparational talk I asked her about the legal implications of such a test and various other technical questions on how a polygraph works.

Then the test took place. I haven't done anything close to cheating but I was nervous as I dreaded the consequences of an incorrect outcome of the test - that would identify me as a cheater. The test was hell ! I wasn't allowed to move anything, not even my tongue, which is particularly unpleasant as I was extremely nervous. We were halfway through with the test when I got so nervous that I had a panic attack. We had to discontinue the test without final results.

In a personal talk, the testing lady told my wife that even though she could not get any final results, she sees clear indication for me lying for the following reasons:
- I tried to sabotage the test technically (she was referring to my heavy breathing that came with the panick attack)
- My inquisitive questions before the test were showing that I was already preparing to be convicted and therefore was not believing in my own innocence.
- Besides that, she told my wife, the results of those questions she could ask were indicating that my reactions on critical questions, such as "did you have sexual intercourse with another woman" were clearly stronger as compared to non-critical questions.

Now I ask myself, how crappity smacked up and shallow is this test. Clearly I was a lot more nervous when being asked about having sex with other women as when I was asked these toy-questions to calibrate the machine ! I knew that if that polygraph would turn against me my wife was ready to leave me, regardless of if I really did it or not. So surely I cannot sit there with calm confidence and just say "NO" - I sit there and I cannot breathe and I gasp out "n..o" and all the pointers go up. And this simple, silly, shallow observation is the rocket-science behind a polygraph ?

Anyway, my wife threw me out and I am living in a hotel right now. I feel bitterness for myself and other husbands that may have gone through the same. And I ask myself, do these testers actually realize the injustice and desctruction they are doing to humans ?

For 500 Rands, this lady has destroyed the lives of 4 people (we have two little daugthers), based on a cheat that never happened !
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Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box George W. Maschke
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Re: Wife left me after polygraph told I cheated
Reply #1 - Oct 29th, 2004 at 8:55pm
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  
Thank you for sharing your unfortunate experience for the benefit of others. It's regrettable that the pseudoscience of polygraphy has gotten a foothold in your country, too.

Ironically, if you actually had been an unfaithful husband and were intent on beating the polygraph, you could have done so using simple countermeasures that polygraphers cannot detect.

While your marriage might be past the point of rescue, you might want to direct your wife to some of the information available on this website. For starters, you might point her to The Lie Behind the Lie Dectector, especially Chapter 1 (on the scientific status of polygraphy), Chapter 3 (which explains the simplistic methodology behind it), and Chapter 4 (which explains how anyone can pass or beat the polygraph -- something one would think you might have researched in advance had that been your intent).


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Re: Wife left me after polygraph told I cheated
Reply #2 - Dec 3rd, 2004 at 2:39am
Mark & QuoteQuote Print Post  

I know that was hard on you; if you read my postings, I had a similar situation, where something was said, and I initiated a poly to disprove it.

However, I completed mine; was calm on ALL questions, no anxiety, nothing to hide.   

I outright FAILED; the examiner got in my face, and started yelling, "you lied! you lied! admit it! tell the truth!!!".   I told him I did tell the truth, and left, overwhelmed and confused by the whole event.   

My wife moved out w/the kids, left the State.  Mons later, we reconciled, and she moved back in, but the failed poly sat out there, ever over our relationship, as a reminder of me being, "decietful" and "a sexual  assualter of a minor".   

Anyway, outside the poly, sorry to say this, but, it kinda indicates a little about one's relationship with his/her spouse, if it comes down to needing a poly to prove one is telling the truth or not.

We need to get these things out of society.
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