I have just discovered this site and would like to share how I completly worked over a Brinks Armored Car examiner. 
Firstly, I had the benifit of a great deal of inside information before the examination. A former friend was an armored car driver in the same city for a different company. I made a few call to the existing local poly examiners representing myself as a small retail business owner interested in submitting my employees to polygraph tests as a loss prevention tool. After sexing them up at the prospect of a new client, I asked them for a few  business references. I soon found that  the same company was used by all of the local armored  car companies. 
I then interviewed my friend in great detail , knowing that I would be examined by the same company. He provided to me the following information:

Information on every detail  of the examination and the chronological order of events.

A list of all question that he could recall.

1. Except what we talked about before, do you now or have you ever had a problem with gambling?

2. Except what we talked about before,do you now or have you ever  had a problem with alcohol abuse?

3.  Except what we talked about before, Do you now or have ever had a problem with drug abuse no matter how insignificant?

4. Except what we talked about before, Do you now or have you ever had any substantial debts?

5.Except what we talked about before, Have you falsafied any part of your aplication?

6. Except what we talked about before,Do you now or have you ever owed anyone a large personal debt ?

7. Except what we talked about before,Have you ever filed for bankrupcy?

8. Except what we talked about before,Do you consider yourself honest?

9. Except what we talked about before,Do you now or have you ever stolen anything?

10.Except what we talked about before, Have you ever been arrested or convicted of any crime no matter how insignificant?

11. Are you being forthright and honest on this test?

12. Have you been deceptive no matter how insignificant
on any part of this test?

13. Have you lied to me about anything during this polygraph exmination?


My friends analysys of why polygraphs were bogus: 
He explained that he was not at all intimidated by the examiner. He had previous knowledge that polygraphs were bogus. He explained how they try to evoke fear and aprehention by attempting to make you believe that they really COULD read your mind and detect your lies. He further explained to me not to worry about the examiner and that he (my friend) was laughing in his head at the examiner and the heavy gravity atomosphere that the guy was trying to build .  He believed in his own mind that the guy was an idiot and geek. My friend explained that he KNEW this to be true because when asked if he ever had used drugs, my friend answered "NO" even though he had just smoked a joint! He passed with flying colors although he lied several times and was a chronic alcoholic! As my friend said: "Polygraphs only work if you beleive they work."

With this, I went to the local library (pre internet) and looked  up as many references to poly that I could.

For the sake of brevity I will skip the nut and bolts of my research results and skip to what I did to work them over.

I discovered that the Galvanic skin response was one of their main tools. I guess that when you lie, your skin sweats a little. O.K. fine! No water in my system, no sweat!
Countermeasure:

I drank 90 oz. of coffee as a diuretic to pee out all of the water in my system.  I assure you, I had very little galvanic skin response and a very dry mouth!

Through a slip of the tounge, my prospective employer told me more that he should have. He stated: "She wont be able to give you an exam for three weeks." "Is that a problem?"    
Now I knew that I had a little time to work with. I also knew that the examiner was female. 
Countermeasure:
Knowing that the examiner was a female, I paid extra attention to personal hygene. Fresh cut short hair, closely cut  and clean fingernails. Expensive colonge . Nice shoes. You know, like I was going out on a date with someone special. I wanted to look  sharp and attractive as well as professional. 
I also did some research at the library and found out that there was substantial  research indicating that  that certain colors were associated with certain emotions.  I found that (not suprisingly) the color white evoked a response of honesty and purity. As a result. I wore a white sweater and white jeans. I either looked like a choir boy or a queer  boy! Either way I was very non threatening which is exactley what I wanted. Oh yes. I wore a white hat! Remember? The Good guys where the white hats!

I had the knowledge of the questions asked.
I had the knowledge that I had three weeks.
Countermeasure:
This is especially devious:
I brainwashed myself by making a tape of all of the questions asked with a background of very relaxing classical music. ( I used Chopan Concerto #2 in A minor, but I guess you could use whatever relaxes you.) Every time I asked a question, I would answer the way that I wanted, to condition myself to respond without concious effort. I also told myself how honest and relaxed I was and how I had nothing to hide etc...  I even listened to the tape in my sleep. After awhile all I heard was the music on the tape and was answering the questions reactivley without even thinking or anylizing or head tripping! This turned out to be extremley effective.

Pre test jitters and caffene will make you look like you are lying. 
Countermeasure:
Xanex

The Test

I showed up 1 hr earley and waited around the corner listening to my brainwashing tape. I arrived to my test 10 min earley. The female examiner looked surprised when I walked in. I then established a rapport with her. (I was, at the time, single and well versed in flirting with women.) I smiled alot and acted very innocent and even a little stupid. I let her think she was dominant and hoped for a mothering response.  I stated that I was kind of nervous even though I had never done anything wrong. (A lie) She fell for it by chance and told me that she was sure that I had nothing to worry about. YES!!!  This was going very well already. She then caught herself and said that it was time for the test and put her professional face back on. 

She then explained how the test equipment worked when you  tell a lie( the first stage  of scaring you ) since my friend had already briefed me and the xanex was kicking in, I was undaunted. 

The second stage was hooking you up with the equipment
like you were at a hospital, subconciusly making them a figure of authority. Still not scary. I knew all about this charade. 

The third stage is making you beleive that a great deal of importance  and your very future hinges on this moment in
time. Well, I already know that this is not true. YOU hold the future in YOUR hands. If this phony test does not work out there are endless opportunities elseware limited only by your imagination and self confedence. Besides, this lady is a snake oil fake and I do not beleive in her test at all. I DO beleive in myself, however. My tape told me so many times... I now begin to hear the opening to Chopan Concerto #2 in A Minor. 
 

Before turning the equipment she gave me a "Last Chance" to fess up to anything that might be on my mind.
Knowing this was coming, I had devised a plan.
Countermeasure:
You have to give them somthing.  I told her that I had stolen a candy bar in 4th grade and tried pot once or twice in 8th grade. Here is the rub: In my brainwashing tape I developed a question that tricked my subconcious into thinking that I had confessed to everthing that I was concealing, thus telling the truth when asked "ECEPT FOR WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE did you etc..." 
The question in my brainwashing tape was as follows:
"Do you have anything to tell me before we start?" "Yes. I stole  a candy bar in 4th grade and smoked pot in 7th grade [in SOTO voice] and I confess to everything else that
I ever did."  I said the last part in my head in real life, but I did absolutly say it and through my conditioning tape I beleived that I had confessed. 
So after being asked "EXCEPT WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE" I was conditioned to beleive that we had talked about everything and could catagorize everthing I was concealing in the "Already talked about" catagory wich meant I was telling the truth!

   
When she asked me the control question I pressed real hard on the finger cuff and turned my head to look at the needle to distract her from seeing my finger and to see if it was working. It looked like my galvanic skin response was      
Realy working well! As anyone with a basic knowledge in electrical theory can figure out, you can mimmic the galvanic skin respose by decreasing the restance of the finger contact through pressure, which makes a better electrical contact for the moment.  She had to recalibrate her machine which made all of my real responses negligable!

She admonished me for looking and told me to keep my eyes straight ahead. That was O.K. with me. I had already accomplished my task of diverting her view of my finger.

The rest of the test went by prety fast and all I really heard was Chopan.

I passed the test and was hired by Brinks a week later.
The job sucked and I quit a year or two later, but I passed the exam and I lied about 50% of the time!

I have deliberatly refrained from  reading the rest of the site so I would not taint my story with  anything that I read. I am sure alot of this  info is probley covered but I think I am the one who made up the very effective Brainwashing tape.  Hope that this might serve to be an example of how polygraphs are phony.

Thanks Kona. I'll take that as a complement! I have now had  a chance to peruse the website. What sticks out the most in my mind is the cowardly heckling of  freshly rejected applicants by certain low life cockroaches. Boy , it really must be an ego builder to kick a guy in the ballsack when he is laying in the gutter bleeding after getting hosed out of his career by some pencil neck, self engrandising , homosexual communist 15 week wonder.  What a brave person to torture somone in obvios agony while safely hiding behind a CRT and proxifyer. Truly a person of the higest moral and ethical character. I beleive that people like this might fall into one of three catagories:
1: polygrapher w/requisite *LHT's
Like a  human cockroach,  I'm sure that these 15 week wonders are quite alergic to the light (ie. TRUTH) and are thusly offended by exposure to the same.  This factor coupled with an unhealthy infection of *LHT's  (Latent Homosexual Tendencies)  might account for the cowardly and vitriolic  attacks on red blooded, all american men in a jealous rage, attempting to emasculate the victims that embody the very symbol of masculinity and idealistic purity that  a person infected with LHT's could never achive in three lifetimes due to his inherent weakness caused by constant internal conflicts.
2. Agent provacature , internal or external.
To generate a conflict between good law abiding citizens and their government is an old and tired satanic tactic still in use in order to divide a nation.  (Matthew 12:25)
3. Spooks
Members of internal or external intel agencies building profiles for their masters.  Everything you respond with goes into the big computer.
Heck, I just might be a good guy using triple reverse psycology  to elicit a response in order to build a profile on
the human cockroaches!  Anyway Kona, it is my opinion that these hecklers are knowing or unknowing agents of the dark side. It's painfully obvious. It is my sincere hope that they would repent of their sins to the Lord, be rid of their LHT's and join the ranks of the righteous. Too bad this thread isn't read by that many. I would like to encourage all failed applicants not to worry. Time heals all wounds. Besides , I hate to be the first to break it to you, but most departments all the way to the top have been corrupted. If you guys are as idealistic as you sound, you have just saved yourself a huge emotional conflict when you found out. I am NOT saying that there are not any honest law enforcement agents. Nuff said. Check it out yourself. In addition, I have figured out a formula for success. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Here is the formula: If you make a plan, always have a plan B, and a plan C. If you make these alternate plans equally as good in the parameters that you have set, you have created a win-win-win situation instead of a 50%-50% win- loose situation. Who cares if the first one does not work, the second or third will hit and you win! Heck, create a subset win-win-win just for fun! You can apply this logic to most situations and vastly increase your odds in favor of the success that you define. Works in debates as well.  Here is another secret that I developed while single. This is a true and powerfull secret that I probley shouldn't share but here it goes: One day while sitting in a bar, wondering why I could not find a girlfriend, I had no less than an epiphany.
It all became crystal clear as if a beam of light came down from heaven and shone on my brain. If you only ask out beautifull babes, then you only will have beautifull babe girlfriends. It does not matter if you have to ask out 10 in a row. Or 20. Your chances of success go up at every try and trust me, you won't likely even get past 3-4.  That way you will allways have a beautifull date! The guys used to hate me! "how does a geek like him get such beautifull women "
Ha ha. It's all in the numbers! Even though it didn't take me long to realize that bar girls had a lot of undesierable traits and much baggage, I learned a valuble lesson.  The same can be applied to jobs.  Apply only for the best jobs. Dont EVER compromise and settle for second or third best! This rule is universal and can be applied to sales or whatever. Use this with the "win-win-win" logic and you wont lose. You cant.   
O.K. I will now get off of my soapbox and do my chores before my wife really gets mad!
Adios Amigos,

Psyops wannabe

Quote:


PLEASE don't let this guy around ANYTHING sharp!

PDD-Fed
8)