My husband and I have been together for 6 years now.  He has been questioning my past sexual history since he found out that I dated a lot before we met.  Now, after years of marriage and a daughter together he questions me, his wife, once again about my past.  Apparently it has been eating him up inside "not knowing the truth" about the number of men I had been with before him.  He still thinks that I am lying to him and has told me that he will not move on or trust me until I take a polygraph test.  I am more then willing to do this but I am so fearful of the test giving me false results and destroying my marriage.  If I go in and am totally honest will I still risk the change of the test coming out false?  Should I use countermeasures to insure a truthful outcome?

timmy1987,

I agree with the previous poster - the polygraph (regardless of the outcome) will not solve your problems.  Chances are, even if a polygraph "verified" your claims your husband will research the polygraph, find that it is not accurate, and will then seek out another method of investigation/interrogation/abuse.

I must admit that I can relate to your husband - in past relationships I have had problems dealing with sexual pasts.  In my opinion, it really is an issue of maturity.  I have since reached a point in which it just isn't an issue (okay, there are some things that I'm not willing to accept).  Rather than battling to prove to your husband that what you say is true, you need to encourage your husband to seek help.  This problem is his, not yours.  After six years and a child, time to move on.  His issues, in my opinion, don't have as much to do with your sexual past as they do with his need to control.  I hope you can solve this problem in a manner that suits both of you but I absolutely encourage one thing - under no circumstances should you sit and engage in a question/answer session with your husband regarding your past.  This will only make things worse.  If this is already going on it has to stop.  Answering his questions will only perpetuate the problem and drive both of you crazier.  Good luck.

Lastly, DO NOT take a polygraph.  That is ridiculous and, frankly, I'd be quite offended if my significant other asked me to be the subject of a polygraph.  That's bullshit.

Timmy,

Concur with the above.  You absolutely should not take a polygraph to appease your control freak husband.  He is in serious need of counseling, and a polygraph will not end the badgering and abuse you will suffer as a result.  If you flunk the poly, then you are a damn lier.  If you pass, then something is wrong with the poly and he'll want you to submit to some other degrading test to verify that you are telling the truth.  He will never be satisfied.   

You need to make it crystal clear to him that you will not submit yourself to such humiliation, and that this harrassment must stop now.  You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect; isn't that how he promised to treat you on your wedding day?   

Your past love life (prior to your marriage) is irrelevant now, as you have made a commitment to your husband.  Hopefully he is mature enough to understand that, and with the proper counseling your marriage can move past this situation.   

Good luck to you.

Kona