I'll probably put together a real "write-up" of my CIA polygraph experience at some point and hopefully remember to post it in this forum, in case anyone wants to care. In the spirit of full-disclosure, I just got the thin-envelope treatment today and am pretty confident that the "lie detector" (or some revelation, lack-of-revelation, attitude, etc. that came about during the polygraph circumstance) is what did me in. Before this last trip to NoVA I had a "conditional offer" in hand, then today I got the news that because of information I had provided, I was unsuitable. Interesting. (And why the ---- did they have the background investigator interview every single friend and co-worker I could name *before* I went out and "revealed" my unsuitability? Asinine. Really excited about all the questions I'll be getting from my friends and co-workers about a job whose true nature I concealed from them.)
Obeying what I had been told, I did not do any research on the polygraph process -- but after the experience it was clear to me that our friends in Langley merely use the polygraph as a prop to aid in interrogation. While the experience sucked massively and I would do everything in my power to keep anyone I care about from having to go through anything similar, some aspects of it were humorous. It was like the guys were trying to do a good cop/bad cop routine with only one cop.
Just a few lines of dialogue that transpired on the second day of the exam, after he told me that I was controlling my breathing (and trying to manipulate the test), and which I thought were kind of funny (although, in retrospect, the first-day guy who kept telling me how normal it was to have sex with your step-children and sell drugs to teenagers, might have been funnier):
Interrogator: If you keep doing that (controlling breathing), I’m going to have to bring my supervisor in here and, if it happens again, we’re going to have to write you down for PNC, that’s “purposeful non-compliance”. That doesn’t sound good, does it? And if we put you down for PNC, where do you think that leaves you?
Me: With a good job somewhere else.
***
After leaving the room for about a half an hour ("sorry, I got a phone call, didn't mean to keep you waiting" -- nah, of course not, and you weren't on the other side of that one-way mirror over there either...
), he asked me what I was thinking about while he was gone.
Interrogator: Why did you think you were going to fail the test?
Me: Because you said that if I didn’t stop controlling my breathing, then I’d be put down for willfully subverting the test.
Interrogator: I didn’t say that.
Me: <shrug>
***
After "restarting the test" and supposedly beginning again with the "practice" questions, he then stopped before asking the first question.
Interrogator: Okay, I'm going to have to stop now.
Me: <heavy sigh>
Interrogator: You need to stop controlling your breathing.
Me: If I don’t have anything else to think about, then I’m going to think about my breathing. There’s nothing I can do about it.
Interrogator: I told you what you had to do, you have to concentrate on the question.
Me: It’s hard to concentrate on the question when you haven’t asked one yet.
***
Anyway, with the exception of these two trips to the Ministry of Truth, all my experiences in interviewing with the CIA were extremely positive. Given this, the polygraph exam seemed bizarre and out of place. I should have taken my (surprisingly large) per diem and spent the second day at the Smithsonian.
Thanks.