I am 25 years old and have been seperated from my wife for 1 1/2 yrs now. The court has given me full custody of our son because she has abused him and allowed him to be molested by her brother. I agreed however to allow visitation in my home because she asked me to do so. Over the past three months we have been talking about working things out and were having sex even though she remains to be living with her boyfriend. One month ago I told her we could not maintain a sexual relationship unless she would move out of his house. She said she didnt want to do that but wanted to keep having sex. I told her no. She got really mad and stopped comming around as much. She came just this last week to see our son for her regular visit and when she came I got back into bed it was 8am and I have a disease with my back and am on a lot of medications. The night before I was in a lot of pain and had to take some fairly strong pain medicine and was still tired. When she got there her and my son went into his room to play then I heard her say lets go get daddy up. They came over and started tickeling me then we started tickeling our son. This went on for about 30 minutes in which she was trying to give me wedges and all kinds of "playing" ensued. I told them to go out so I could get dressed. They went back out of the room then she came back over while I was getting dressed. She stood in front of me while I was pulling my pant up she pushed me over on the bed and pulled the covers over us. She then told my "shh we're hiding, we're monsters". I was like, okay. She then started sucking my neck and so I started sucking on hers. When we heard my son come over she put her head down and the opposite side of her neck was to me so I started sucking on it. When he pulled the cover off we both got up. She then made a reference to putting a mark on me and I told her I had put two on her and that I was sorry. She said oh my god what am I going to tell my byfriend. I told her that it should go away and that I was sorry again. SHe said that it was okay, and that she was just worried. She stayed for over an hour and then left. When she did she said goodbye and acted totally fine. A couple hours later I get a call from the police that she is pressing sexual assault charges and I need to come in for questioning. When I go they say she is saying I forced the hickeys on her. And that I need to take a lie detector test. I asked why they didnt have her take one and they said if I passed it then they would have her take it and not before. I refused and said I wanted to speak to my attorney. He is telling me to take it. I spoke to several other attorney's who I know and they said under no cercumstances. I dont know what to do. I am so scarred that they will try to set me up. And mislead me. And with all of the medication I am on I dont know if that will affect it or not. In the line of work I am in if I have a sex charge against me I will ever be able to work again and I could lose my son. I cant afford a good attorney and mine already told me the reason why he is puhing me into it is because it will cost me less. I just think in the long run if they mess me up it will cost me my life. I beg anyone out there please help me and my son. Thank you, RIck

Let's say you fail the polygraph. How screwed would you be then? But, if you learn how to use countermeasures and pass, what is to prevent your ex from having charges filed anyway? She's the one in the dog house with her boyfriend, which is why she made the claim of assault against you. Any proof of her having come over repeatedly, phone records (like cell phone charges), other people who knew about your relationship or saw her at your house on more than one occasion? How sharp is your son? Reliable enough to state that he saw mommy at daddy's house all the time? Saw mommy and daddy playing monster before?

Your lawyer is not giving you the best advice in terms of defending you. His advice is more practical, in terms of what is the easiest (i.e., financially) way out for you.  Fight fire with fire. Do you know her boyfriend? Call him and spill the beans about your relationship with his girlfriend/your ex. Dates and times would certainly help, especially if she told him she was somewhere else and there is no one who can verify her presence there.

To gamble your future on the polygraph is bad enough. Being falsely charged, obviously, doesn't make things any better. I think testimony from your son, presented to a family advocate/child protective services/social worker, where your son states you and your ex saw each other on more than just scheduled visitation dates is your key to putting an end to this.

I feel your pain Rick I am a Step-Mother who's been victimized by her step-daughter and her husband's ex-wife. I am in the middle of a loss myself, the stepdaughter acused me of molesting her and  I didn't I am scared because I know how vindictive the mother is against me and the daughter may be a pawn but she doesn't like me as well. She under the impression I broke her family and she wants revenge, they want me to take a polygraph test but so much is riding on an insignificant test which results can be faltered with. I believe more than the mother and daughter are against me and that the examiner could be under bribery, not sure of that but almost certain it's possible. I don't know what to do but I do share your pain my life is at risk too. Good luck and hopefully everything will or has worked out for you. Myself I can't determine my future. Hopefully a lawyer can advise me well.