Normal Topic Nervous about a polygraph (Read 3760 times)
Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box Kelwa
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Nervous about a polygraph
Aug 24th, 2003 at 12:48pm
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In november of 2000, I was charged with "Encouraging Child Sex Abuse 1" x5. I plea bargained down to 2 counts instead of 5. I had just turned 17.
  My actual crime was trading child pornography over the internet. I recieved probation, and as a stipulation, I had to attend sex offender treatment. I fought it tooth and nail, and didn't take it seriously. I was using drugs and skipping group sessions. In late september of 2001, I was given a Full-Disclosure Polygraph. I showed no signs of deception, and was totally honest, which was embarrassing for me, because I had had several homosexual encounters, which where consentual and age appropriate, but it was private. But I accepted the fact that I had commited a crime, and I would have to do things that I didn't want to do. Bottom line was, I had not offended anybody hands on.
  On December 18th, 2001, I was incarcerated in a juvenile corrections facility for probation violation, stemming from failure to show for SOT, and positive urinalysis for THC and Opiates(I was taking Vicodin for 5 teeth I had pulled, so that was cleared.)
  On January 24th 2003, I was transitioned to a less secure facility for reintegration. I had still not officially completed SOT. On March 3rd, just over a month later, I was paroled due to budget cuts. I was one of 2 sex offenders to be cut in the state of Oregon. I ended up being the only one, because the other guy got in a fight.
  After I got out, I aquired all of my psychological exams and medical files that the state had kept on me, through a connection I had inside.
  Report after report all said the same thing. "This kid has problems, just like any other teen, but he isn't a threat to the community. Why is he locked up?
  I have been on parole now for 5 and a half months, and things are going OK. I am going to have a maintenance polygraph, my first, sometime soon.
  Bottom line is, I understand how my actions have affected people. I understand that I have a problem and I am working very hard at correcting it. I don't want to hurt anyone ever again. A lot of people minimize what I did, saying that they are just photos, and that I was just a kid. But the fact is, I new that what I was doing was wrong, but I didn't stop. I'm paying for that now.
  I just want to know why a test that has been shown to have a failure rate that is unacceptable if it is the deciding factor on whether or not i stay free or go back to jail is being administered.
  I am really scared, and here is why.
  I have relapsed several times in the last few months. By relapse, I mean that I have looked at pornography on the internet. Not child pornography. That is where the problem comes in. I have been using the program Kazaa to download pornography, and after a search, I usually highlight all the results and download. After I had done this, I was browsing through the images, and came across child pornography. I deleted it instantly and logged off. Even this scare has not deterred me.
  I have a serious addiction to pornography, which I am currently in treatment for, aside from SOT. This situation I have described has happened several times. Now, I know that if I report that this happened once, I would be forgiven. But at 5 or 6 times? Not a chance in hell. I would be back in Jail in a heartbeat. But I know in my heart that I have no interest in child pornography anymore. I have spent over 2 years learning how to hate it. The sight of it makes me queasy thinking that I contributed to kids being offended. Do I deserve to go back to jail for this? I don't think so. But do I lie and try and pass using countermeasures? I am pretty sure I can do it, but every bone in my body is telling me that I need to be honest. please tell me what you think, and feel free to email me. I am open and honest about my offense, and welcome all feedback.
  In case you are wondering, Encouraging child sex abuse 1 is a class B felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison. And yes, I do have to, and am registered as a sex offender in the state of Oregon.
  
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Paste Member Name in Quick Reply Box orolan
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Re: Nervous about a polygraph
Reply #1 - Aug 24th, 2003 at 5:04pm
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Kelwa,
Do you recall seeing the following condition in your paperwork?
"(G) Unless otherwise indicated for the treatment required under subparagraph (E) of this paragraph, a prohibition against viewing, listening to, owning or possessing any sexually stimulating visual or auditory materials that are relevant to the person's deviant behavior."
While adult pornography is not "relevant" to your crime, many parole officers and the parole board typically disregard that portion of the condition and rule that viewing pornography of any type is a violation.
So you may be screwed no matter what.

The best thing for you to do is to discuss the situation frankly with your therapist and/or your P.O. before taking the maintenance polygraph. But only if you feel comfortable that you won't be revoked for viewing the adult pornography. If they believe you are sincere, you shouldn't have any trouble.

BTW, Kazaa is the weakest and most dangerous peer-to-peer network there is. Stop using it before you get into even more trouble.

  

"Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done." &&U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis
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Re: Nervous about a polygraph
Reply #2 - Aug 24th, 2003 at 9:17pm
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Kelwa,

I can empathize with your situation. Where I live, the power and control stuggle between probation and treatment agencies is over: probation/parole is definitely driving the bus now. Used to be a PO would act on the recommendation(s) of the treatment provider. That is no longer the case. PO's have their own case staffing and punishment/sanctioning system, so, in addition to whatever sanction(s) you would get from your treatment provider for violating your treatment contract, you would also (more than likely) get hammered by the PO.

Towards the end of my time, there are things I wanted to be able to discuss/disclose with my therapist, but did not for fear of sanctions from probation. It used to be treatment was a "for you" place, and probation was a "to you" kind of place. Now, they both seem to be "to you" because the treatment agency has to comply with a never ending increase in rules, restrictions, and requirements imposed by the state SO management board.

So, what does this mean to you? If you want help, it is going to cost you, and not just the money for group/inidividual meetings. Disclosing the violations, because of the number of times, I would bet you will be sanctioned. What does being sanctioned imply? Don't know about your state, but it could include community service, ankle bracelet, complete loss of computer privileges (you can **count** on that happening), increased supervision, contract violation group, and so on.

No one here is advocating using CM's to deliberately lie on an exam. However, the fact remains that the CM's work either way - whether you are telling the truth or whether you are lying out your ass. Game strategy (no, it isn't a "game" to me, just the wording I use) if you decide to employ CM's is to have your act down pat. Too bad you have to lie, seriously lie, that is, to find out whether or not - from your perspective, not mine, because I know they work - CM's work.

Some fatherly advice: stop violating your terms and conditions of treatment/probation/parole. You are young. It is a tremendous burden to carry the sex offender label with you for the rest of your life. You committed your crime when you were a minor. You most definitely do not want this baggage as an adult. Learn to deal with your urges NOW before you really get into trouble.

I guess it boils down to this: which do you value more? Getting over on one polygraph or learning how to deal with your problem, which, by the way, has a lot more utility in the big scheme of things.

What are you going to do, Ranger?
  
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Re: Nervous about a polygraph
Reply #3 - Aug 25th, 2003 at 5:45am
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Be honest kid!
Go to your therapist and admit that you have been looking at porn BEFORE your polygraph.  Then the polygrapher will know you are honest and he will have already been defeated.  If the polygrapher knows that you are an honest person and admit everything to your therapist, then he has no purpose.
And besides...the honesty will only help you in the long run.  And if you can't be honest and can't control your deviant urges...maybe you should go to jail for awhile.  Maybe you haven't learned your lesson yet.
-OkieBoy
  
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