Joseph,

As promised, here is what I make of your situation, given that I only have your side of the story.  You mention that Mary came to your house on almost a daily basis, yet when talking about the day of the alleged assault you state she hadn't been to your house in at least a month.  However, given this you still felt compelled to state that you found her visitis annoying and uncomfortable and you were finding more and more excuses to not invite her in when she came knocking.  Not real clear on this, especially if she hadn't been over to your house in over a month.  You mention that you "do" have a moral compass, but what you have now is not really at issue.  What about 1993, when you were 22 years old?  You mention that you were able to recognize all of Mary's problems and that you empathised with her due to your own high school experiences.  This sounds like a rather mature attitude for a 22 year old who was young and naive enough to falsely confess.  You mention that you thought Mary was pretty, however you were not sexually attracted to her, that she was not your "type".  By your description she was a pretty girl, who was obviously attracted to you, and you were an immature 22 year old who did not appear to have many, if any, serious relationships.  Your "evidence" relating to Mary's having lied about being at your house that day is compelling.   It certainly does not bode well for her that she stated she told your neighbor and he beat you up, when if fact (as related by you) this did not occur and your neighbor verified same.  So where does that take us?  One might say it's possible you really wanted to act on some feelings for Mary, however there is a strong indication you were actually turned off by her, and one would have to believe these thoughts would not impact any type of physiological testing nine years later.  Is it possible there is some bit of information about yourself that you are not providing since you do not see it as being relevant to the allegation made by Mary; yet whenever the topic of Mary and her allegation is brought up this bit of information comes to the forefront?  If so, do you believe that this bit of information, if known, would prevent you from obtaining a career in law enforcement?  These are personal questions, and you owe me no answer to them!

For Passedbutfailed (Rick),

You got me buddy!  I'll see you at the next JTTF meeting.  Since you know me I guess we won't need any introduction, but will you do me two favors before we meet?  One, wear a red tie so I'll know who you are, and two, please tell me what the JTTF is, and when and where the next meeting is.  I don't want to miss it if I'm suppose to be there.  Also, SFFO/SSG & LAFO/HRT?  OK, color me stupid, it wouldn't be the first time, but what do these stand for?  Please tell me so I can pass on your greetings to the "boys", and also so I can contact someone about why I haven't been receiving my paychecks.

If we were playing "Hot/Cold" I'd say you must be wearing some serious cold weather gear right about now.  Try again.

Batman

Anonymous Wrote:
"...perhaps your friends on the dark side will promote you to the "A" team and day shift with this effort.... "

That was a dumb move Anonymous (although your professional experience is no longer anonymous) to expose yourself in that fashion.  Better luck next time.

Batman,

In response to your questions, Mary would come and knock on my door just about every day.  However, for about 4-6 weeks before Mary made her allegations, I would find some excuse to get rid of her.  What I should have said was that Mary had not been INSIDE my house for at least a month before she claimed I fondled her.

You are right about my attitude toward her feelings being rather mature.  But, it is only now, 9 years later, that I can articulate that attitude.  If you asked me the same question when I was 22, I would not be able to answer it.  All I knew back then was that I had some vague concern about not hurting Mary's feelings.  I could not have told you why I had that concern, as I can do today.

Finally, you asked me if I ever wanted to act on any feelings I may have had toward Mary, and if so, did I ever do anything with her that might cause a significant reaction when asked about it.  This is a good question.  As I have said in my previous posts, I did not find Mary sexually appealing.  She was physically attracive, but I did not like her personality or her mental state.  Now, there were a few times when I did discuss sex with Mary, when she would ask what kind of women I was attracted to.  She would also ask what sexual things I would do to that woman, and what I would like that woman to do to me.  It was almost like discussing a sexual fantasy with Mary, but Mary was not the subject of the fantasy.  No, I did not ever have any sexual feelings toward Mary, nor would I have ever acted on them even if I did.  It would not only be illegal, but immoral as well.

I am wondering if because I have discussed sex with Mary, that this could be something that could cause a significant reaction!  I could believe this could be the case with my LAPD poly.  When the examiner asked me the various questions about Mary and my relationship with her, I do remember many different thoughts and concerns running through my mind, including sexual discussions.

However, during my CVSA exam, I did not have any of these thoughs during the test.  I actually kept my mind as blank as possible and just answered the questions truthfully.  On one question (it was an irrelevant one, like "Is there a computer on my desk") my heart suddenly started beating like a racehorse for no reason whatsoever.  I was not thinking about anything disturbing, and there was noting about the question itself that would have caused a reaction, but I reacted anyway.   I am thinking that I am just one of those people who get very nervous when questioned, and this nervousness was interpeted as deception during my poly and CVSA exam.