Hello,

Unfortunately I do not know of a way to help you, but I did want to tell you that you and your friend are by no means alone.   

My brother was molested repeatedly by the dean of our church when he was 11.  He never told anyone until he was 26 years old.  Needless to say, we were shocked and wanted him to get therapy.   

Unfortunately, he did not get therapy, and he sexually touched the sons of his girlfriend, who told the police.  He was arrested.  Neither he nor his family had the money for an attorney.  We were dependent on the public defender, which turned out to be a total joke.

My brother told us he was telling the truth during his polygraph tests, and we believed him.  Like your friend, he never turned in his victimizer--for several different reasons.  He said that he found him and confronted him, and the man broke down and said how sorry he was, that he was a new person, blah, blah, blah.  My brother believed him.  If I knew his name, I would turn him in.  I do not care if he has a new life or not.  He needs help.  He was harassed about that, and the examiner even had the nerve to suggest that he had killed someone.  Needless to say, this made my brother very upset.

My brother was sentenced to an indeterminate sentence--I don't know if you have heard of that, but it is basically up to the prison as to when you are released.  He could be there for the rest of his life, and I am not exaggerating.  Of course, mandatory therapy is part of his treatment.  As part of the therapy, polygraph tests are administered.  If an inmate fails the polygraph, he is kicked out of this MANDATORY therapy!!!
You would think they would suggest more therapy, but they are not interested in rehabilitation.  What is even more ironic is that even after my brother failed the polygraph a couple of times, he passed what is called Phase I of his therapy.  They moved him to a lest restricted prison where he had more privileges, such as a window.  He filed a lawsuit against the judicial system for something else--I won't get into it--but it was clearly a violation of due process and his civil rights.  Two days after he filed, he was subjected to a mandatory polygraph test, which they said he "manipulated."  They kicked him out of the program and are sending him back to Phase I.  He has been kicked out of this MANDATORY therapy and has to start all over again.  What I don't get is why they didn't kick him out of therapy in the first place, when he failed his first couple of polygraphs?  I sincerely believe it was to give him some false sense of hope.  Then they retaliated against him filing a lawsuit against them by kicking him out of the program.  I feel so helpless in this situation.  I have no idea how to help him.  I feel like I will never see him again outside of prison, and it tears me up inside.

I was the same as everyone else--I thought that sexual offenders, particularly child molesters, deserved the worst treatment possible and I could have cared less if they were put to death.  I have children of my own and I know what I would do to anyone who hurt them.  However, when my brother told me what had happened to him, it brought a whole new twist to my viewpoint.  My doctor explained to me that unfortunately, most people who have been molested never receive therapy, and they continue the cycle.  They continue it because subconsciously they are trying to be in control of the situation--as opposed to being victimized when they were younger.  The same thing happens with alcoholics, drug addicts, etc--but, it is different for them because they are still accepted by society.  I also believe that sex offenders should not be grouped into one big group.  My brother did not prey on children.  This was a one-time incident.  There are many others in his same group therapy who have violently molested children, their own children, other children over and over again.   

What my brother did was wrong.  I am not excusing it.  I guess I just wish there were more people out there who understood what was behind why people do the things they do--not to let them get away with those things, but to give them the treatment they need in order to break the cycle.   

I wish you best of luck with your friend.  Personally, I would read everything possible about beating the polygraph test and practice. Remember, the polygraph test cannot measure if you are lying or telling the truth--it can only give the indication of your body's reaction to questions and harassment by the examiner.

One suggestion--is it possible to have your friend's tests videotaped?  Probably not--but maybe you can talk to his attorney and see if there is any way the tests can be monitored by someone unbiased.   

Please let me know how this turns out.  Best of luck to you and your friend.