The time between the Polygraphs seemed endless, especially considering the realization that admitting to "knowing" how the tests work only resulted in my being accused of using countermeasures. Different scenarios passed through my mind as I contemplated what I was going to do. The other Polygraph didn't really matter because I really didn't want to work for that department, but I did want to work for this particular department and the Polygraph was the only thing that could prevent me from doing so. I got a good nights sleep, woke up and had a good breakfast, I then kissed my lovely wife good bye and departed to the Polygraph test. My uncertainty about what I was going to do for this test made me particularly nervous, should I tell him what I knew and risk the accusation of cheating, not tell him anything and risk having no reaction again to the control questions, or should I just keep quiet and use counter measures on the control questions and at least have a chance of succeeding. I arrived at the HQ for the department and was told to sign in and wait. A middle aged man (the examiner) introduced himself and led me to the back offices through a hallway. He instructed me to remove my suit jacket and place it on a hangar in another room, he then led me into a small little room and told me to sit in a chair that was facing a corner. I noticed the Polygraph machine as I entered the room, it was the standard computer monitor type. The examiner was extremely amicable and often tried to make me laugh as he led into the pre test interview as he tried to convince me his job was to "help me get past this phase of the hiring process". He informed me the entire thing would be recorded and then began to hand over a barrage of forms for me to sign, one of which was a consent to be polygraphed at any point in my career with that department concerning any aspect of my life, any refusal would lead to my immediate termination from that department. I expressed some concern over this particular form and he assured me it was rare that officers be polygraphed, and that I shouldn't worry. He then proceeded to tell me that he himself had already been tested six times in his tenure with the department and that as long as I had nothing to hide these tests are a piece of cake. He continued his interview and I told nothing but the truth to all his questions, I fortunately did not commit anything to be ashamed of during my life, the only crimes I actually committed were with a few shoplifting incidents at age 14 and 15 (grand total of all items a whopping $15 dollars) and few fist fights in high school. I had nothing to hide or be ashamed of and was thus completely truthful in all my answers. With each question however I grew more and more nervous because I knew that he would sooner or later ask the question concerning how much I knew about the Polygraph, and I would have to make the choice of actually lying or telling the truth and having him call me inconclusive like the previous examiner had, either way I was extremely uncomfortable with both options. Amazingly however the question never came, the closest to it was right before the test when he warned me that people who use counter measures always get caught and that only because Russian spies ( I guess Polygraph examiners in that state have a fixation with Russian spies or something) can pass the Polygraph it doesn't mean that the average Joe can. He proceeded to verify all the questions with me and as to whether or not I could answer them yes or no, I however for the life of me could not find a single one that was remotely close to a Control Question. It then hit me that this test was going to be an irrelevant/relevant test and I wouldn't have to use counter measures, I was over come with a great feeling of relief as I really did not feel comfortable with the idea of using the countermeasures. Then out of nowhere he says "I am going to ask you some more questions that the department requires me to ask because they are looking for patterns in your behavior" and the feeling of calm disappears as I realize these are all Control Questions, especially considering that after each time I answered a question he followed it with "but that's it right? because remember they are trying to see if you have a pattern of this behavior". He then dismissed me for a break as he got the questions together, I got up and went into the rest room and took a deep look at myself in the mirror, I couldn't believe how bad I was actually feeling, I wanted to go right back in there and tell him I knew all about the workings of the Polygraph I wanted to be completely honest, but I also knew he would have reacted unfavorably to that news and that I would most surely fail as soon as I told him and that the test would only be conducted as a formality. I then felt very angry that I was being forced into this situation by this "machine" I truly wanted this job, had nothing to hide, NOTHING! and yet had been told I had been "inconclusive" on my first test when I knew nothing about the machine, then I was labeled "inconclusive" on my second Polygraph experience when I told the examiner that I knew all about the machine, and was faced with either failing for sure or taking a chance and using counter measures on this Polygraph. I looked myself in the mirror one last time and I knew that no matter what I was a man of integrity, honor, pride and more importantly I truly cared about the people I serve and protect and no man and his machine would ever convince me otherwise. I said the heck with it and went in there and tried to use the counter measures, if he felt comfortable lying to me I had no problem doing what I felt I had to do. He proceeded with 25 questions, 7 of which I knew were CQ's, 3 irrelevant and 15 relevant. I used the anal squeeze and the stair case suppression with my breathing (breathing in more than I did out). Once the test was over he told me I was in for a surprise, he told me to turn around and pointed at the screen. He then asked me what I knew about the polygraph and if I had looked up any information on them in the Internet. I of course played dumb, and then he began to scroll through all the questions on the screen. He continually pointed to the graph representing the breathing patterns and showed me how it went up on several questions (7 to be exact and I guess we all know which questions those were). I had no reaction to any other questions as there was near zero movement on all the other questions. The odd thing was that the Polygrapher continually battered me about the graph representing the breathing pattern, not any of the other ones. I also noticed that even though I wasn't squeezing my anus that hard the line went up pretty far and the other line that measured my finger sweat went up too. I guess I over did it with the breathing and that probably tipped him off (maybe a more subtle approach would work better, maybe just the anal squeeze with varying pressure depending on how serious the CQ is). The Polygrapher then told me that if I admit to using counter measures we could go ahead and start the test again, but if I didn't I would be disqualified from the hiring process and he will say my test was inconclusive as he cannot accuse me of cheating. (Yeah sure buddy like I would even pass the second test after making an admission to using counter measures.) I denied using them and he really loses his cool, he literally yanks the pneumograph of my chest unplugs everything and in a very hostile way tells me to get out while he gets the background investigator. So I get up, walk over to a chair and sit down to await my fate. I then manage to catch a glimpse of him showing the background investigator his computer screen, and here is the kicker of all kickers, I actually see him lying to the investigator, yep one of his fellow men in blue! He is standing there pointing at the screen and he tells the investigator "see how those lines move up?, well its obvious to me he is hiding something" he then points at another one and says "see how they move up on this one? yep that definitely tells me he is being dishonest" and then he does it again and again! The examiner was lying thru his teeth to the investigator, telling the investigator that it was obvious I had been dishonest and untruthful in my answers to his questions and that is why the graphs had moved, when in reality the graphs moved because I had used the counter measures on the Control Questions, and we all know that CQ's are supposed to make the graphs move anyway, that is their whole reason for being in there to begin with. In my previous Polygraph I however didn't react to the CQ's as I was not scared or stressed out by them one bit because I knew what they were, it was either use the counter measures or not react at all and be accused of trying to beat the machine anyway. The investigator then asked to speak with me, and the investigator informs me that I am going to have to reschedule a test for a future date because the polygrapher says I have reactions to questions I was asked. The investigator then asks me if there were any particular questions that bothered me and if so that maybe they could be cleared up with the examiner. I realized my investigator was as blind to the truth about this machine as I had once been and that the examiner had no qualms about lying to one of his own to conceal his secret. The investigator asked me to not give up and reapply to take the test, I however know the futility of a venture such as that one, the department only had 3 examiners and I am quite sure if you fail it with one you will fail it with the other. The Investigator shook my hand and told me to not give up, that it was only a minor setback. I left the building and for once in my experiences taking Polygraphs I walked full of pride, I knew more about the machine than ever before(the examiner had actually shown me on the screen how my manipulations had worked in elevating the graphs) and most important when my wife heard the news she laughed at the examiners over reaction, held my hand, told me she loved me and said "I didn't like the weather up here anyway".
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