NewVictim,

Believe me, I really understand about an experience like this taking the wind out of your sails and then having to go back to your family or peers in seeming disgrace. As you are beginning to understand, it is a reflection of the monstrosity of the polygraph process, rather than a reflection of you.

If you decide to put your thoughts on paper, you'll realize very quickly that the writing process will have a therapeutic effect on you, in addition to providing a testimonial about polygraph abuse. Getting your thoughts on paper will definitely make you feel better.