I wouldn't say Appleseed was necessarily adept at info extracting. Justwondering was clearly not some hard nut to crack. @ Justwondering: Really? Your off-the-cuff disclosure of past crimes has made for a good laugh. Your candor reveals what must be your own attempt at entertianment, else you're a regrettable cause. Perhaps comedy is your niche.

well, at least you're honest
might want to work on some generic human kindness though...

Johnny, seems like you are adept at extracting information out of the trusting. Seems like a very familiar personality trait.

Actually, I was just being nosey and seeing if you would tell your business.  lol.

With a resume like that, there is NO WAY IN HELL you will get a job that requires a clearance or a polygraph!  Before polygraphs they ask you to tell anything that's on your mind that may be bothering you, including crimes you've ever committed.  If you don't tell them, they still ask you about them during polygraph and they will keep asking you about them because you obviously will show a reaction to those questions.  Then once you spill out that whole list of items to them, you will be eliminated on the spot.  This stuff can come up during a background check.  You might even be arrested if they start investigating these things from your past and uncover some cold cases where the statue of limitations hasn't run out yet.

Man you should be in jail.  The feds are probably reading this site and investigating you right now.  You're done buddy.

inappropriate porn 

does all this stuff really make a difference?

Hmm, what are the details of the sex offense?  There is a difference between soliciting prostitution and just looking at inappropriate porn online....What is your offense?

Ok… let’s see what I got:

Misdemeanors: whole bunch of stuff – primarily theft but also possession of stolen property, underage drinking, drug use/possession, assault, criminal trespass, possession of a dangerous weapon on school property, malicious mischief, reckless driving, unlawful transit conduct… probably some others.

Felonies: theft, possession of stolen property, theft with intent to resell, burglary, maybe some drug ones (not sure which are misdemeanors and which are felonies), and one sex offense.

You might be ok.  It just depends.  Could you give us a rough list of the felonies and misdemeanors that you've committed?  Then we will be able to better guage your question.

So... I've been looking into various job positions, some which require polygraph testing. Although I’ve never been charged or convicted of any crimes, I committed quite a few in my teens (who knows how many misdemeanors, and about 12 felonies).   Is there any way I could pass a polygraph test with that history?  Also, could admitting to felonies (even though they were committed several years ago) get me in trouble now?  
Thanks…