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What you can do is either include your minor marijuana use in your application disclosure and answer honestly during the polygraph test, OR omit your minor marijuana use from your application disclosure and never ever admit to the polygraph examiner even if he seems to know all about it. 

What you do *not* do is omit your minor marijuana use from your application disclosure, and then let the polygraph examiner bully you into an admission. I don't like to be harsh but if you do that then you don't deserve the job -- not because you are a druggie, which you're not, but because you are foolish. 

What you should also understand is that all this fuss about toking a spliff now and then is not in any way about the evil of drugs, and the tyranny of the polygraph exam is not in any way about honesty and lying. These are social tools used by a person with a little bit of power, such as a police detective or a potential employer, to make you feel bad about yourself, so that you'll feel grateful for having a crap job and not being in jail. 

I'm about to apply for dispatch but I'm some what nervous since one of the disqualifications is lying! and I know they will do a lie detector test on me. Can anyone help me out don't know what to answer in the "have you ever used marijuana?" I really haven't gotten high it was just one puff cause I don't even know how to smoke and stupid me just took one hit for fun and of course I didn't get high but should I check off "never" or be honest and put 2years ago which that was the time I did that! I'm so scared I really want to get into law enforcement everything else is clear is just that question that has me bad I'm in Riverside, CA

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An unfortunate side effect of helping innocent subjects escape the tyranny of the lie detector is the aid unavoidably provided to dishonest candidates who really should be filtered out. 

Of course if hiring agencies would drop the polygraph and redirect its funding to better BI processes, perhaps they'd actually improve the candidate pool instead of just reducing it at random. You'll note there is no book titled The Lie Behind the Background Investigation. 

i took my polygraph a few months back and tried different things i read on the internet to try and fake my answers and it completely worked. Not to inciminate myself too much. But i had been known to be involved in different so called illegal activities and stressed myself out so bad to every controlled answer and calm during others and passed. Know i work for law enforcement. And to those who fail being honest even. Dont. It will not matter

YoungGun wrote on Mar 17^th, 2010 at 9:17am:


If you are able to obtain it, try to acquire the entire file pertaining to your employment application, through the FOIA.

As I've indicated various times here, the background check may be just as much to blame as the polygraph for ruining your chance of employment.

elismom wrote on Mar 11^th, 2010 at 7:34pm:


You might also want to see if you can make a FOIA request to the agency involved, and see if you can review the results of your background check.

As I've mentioned various times on this Board, it may have been the background investigation that also fouled up your application, as well as the polygraph.

I'm going for police dispatching in the airport in the State of Florida I have to take a polygraph a background check and a drug screening test does anyone know if that happens all at the police department or do they send me to a lab?

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...and I would extend that advise to include any of the so-called federal "three-letter" agencies!

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Welcome to the club!  Our numbers keep increasing!  lol   

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Then that's exactly what she must have been doing!
I'm not terribly surprised !

I worked at NSA as a polygraph examiner in 1982.  There was no such named person...they oftemnused pseudonyms.

Actually this examiner was a woman, Nancy Pike, at the NSA, back in '82.
I have no idea how she came up with these accusations, but it was for me the final confirmation of the worthlessness of the  polygraph scam.
By "pucker", are you referring to the anal sphincter?  I understand that manipulating it is one way of screwing up the polygraph charts!

xenonman wrote on Mar 14^th, 2016 at 7:59pm:

Oh my. I bet this fellow had the gain all the way up on his activity sensor so as to not miss a single pucker, joking 

But, I'm curious, how was such a thing instilled in his mind?

Joe McCarthy wrote on Feb 17^th, 2016 at 7:03am:

NEVER try to "cooperate" with law enforcement.  You'll never be able to "prove" your innocence to those folks.  If they "suggest" that you take a polygraph, just tell them to drop dead!

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Join the club!   I've been accused by IC polygrapher scum of meeting with foreign intelligence agents and of having homosexual liaisons!

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...and ditto for the f*cking CIA, as I finally learned after many years of listening to their lies and know-nothing recruiters!

For what it's worth, here's the consent form I used before I retired about ten years ago as a private examiner when examining criminal defendants referred to me by their attorneys.  The lines following each paragraph are for the examinee's initials to indicate he has read and understands everything.  Obviously a different form was used with sex offenders or others who were required to take the test.

Defense cases
POLYGRAPH CONSENT FORM

I, _____________________________________, hereby agree to take a polygraph examination to be conducted by Gordon H. Barland, Ph.D.  My initials following each paragraph indicate I understand that:

1.      The test is strictly voluntary.  I am not required by any law to take the test, and if I tell Dr. Barland I do not wish to be examined, he will not conduct the test.  If I do decide to take the test, which will take about 4 hours, I understand I am free to leave whenever I wish, even without having completed the examination.   _______

2.      There are no trick or surprise questions on the polygraph.  All questions to be asked on the polygraph will be explained to me before the polygraph is turned on.  I must approve each question before it can be asked on the polygraph.  I do not have to answer any question I don’t want to.                                          _______

3.      The polygraph is not infallible.  The results are inconclusive in about 10% of the cases; that is, the examiner may not be able to make a definite decision about my truthfulness.  In those cases where the examiner can make a definite decision, most examiners believe the accuracy is about 90%, with an error rate of about 10%.  Not all authorities agree on these figures.  Some think it is unscientific and doesn’t work at all, others think it is 95% accurate.  Nonetheless, I understand there is always a realistic chance of error.  I further understand that Dr. Barland is regarded as an expert on lie detection, and that he will do everything in his power to conduct as fair and accurate a test as possible.                                                                  _______

4.      Recording:  The entire examination is being digitally recorded, both audio and video.  This protects me against any misunderstanding as to what I said or how Dr. Barland conducted the examination.                        _______

5.      Complaints:  Unless it represents gross negligence or willful wrong, I agree not to sue Dr. Barland for any omission or act arising out of or attributed, directly or indirectly, to the administration of this examination.  If I have any reason to believe that the examination was not conducted completely impartially, fairly or professionally, I am aware that I can report it to the State of Utah’s Division of Occupational and Professional licensing.  They are responsible for licensing and regulating all polygraph examiners in Utah, and disciplining any infractions. ______

6.      Confidentiality:  I authorize Dr. Barland to release his report about this examination to my attorney, [ deleted ], Esq.  His report may include whatever I tell him, plus his opinion about whether I was being truthful or deceptive.  His report will go only to my attorney unless I or my attorney instruct him to release it to a third party, or unless he is compelled by law to provide it to a third party.                                    _______

I hereby indicate my willingness to be examined by Dr. Barland by signing below.


     Signature: ___________________________________  Date: ______________      Time:   ______________







Now that this test is finished, I acknowledge that while I was with the examiner, I was not subjected to any threats, injury, promises, or mental, physical or sexual abuse.  I further acknowledge that I was told how the test turned out, and was given an opportunity to provide an explanation for any question on the test to which I may have demonstrated physiological responses.

     Signature: ___________________________________  Date _______________      Time: ______________

Actually, I may explain that warning to examinees a bit more like that when going over the consent form. lol.  I have found my bluntness (which most people see as me being sarcastic in a funny way.  Think of a combination of Denis Leary, and Dr. House), is actually a good ice beaker, about 90% of the time.  The other 10% simply have no sense of humor.   

Again, I am a, you like me or hate me kinda person; but you'll always respect my blunt honesty

Whew Joe! That was one for the books. I just may print it out and put it on my refrigerator door.

Hey, my face shows I am a ray of crappity smacking sunshine, people love and freaking adore me...... Who am I kidding? I have a face that would scatter a leper colony and scare the hell out of Satan himself.  lol

Anyway fun and games aside.

You would be amazed how many times I have seen video where I have all but yelled at the computer screen, like someone yelling at the movie screen in a horror movie.  Ever had that experience in a horror movie?  out of no where you hear, "oh no you are not going to open that door."  When I am watching video, you can often hear me saying, "dude, shut the crappity smack up. That cop is not your friend."  

It irks me to no end to hear people being duped into talking.  Yes I am aware of the irony that this is what I do for a living; and I have not decided if I am the teapot or the kettle.  But just like the cops, when someone doesn't use the 4th 5th or 6th amendments, they are fair game.  The cops are not the people who make me angry or disgust me.  It's the moronic idiots who don't know the 4th, 5th and 6th amendments of our Constitution, and know how, AND WHEN, to use them; they disgust me.

People, our Founding Fathers did not write this stuff to entertain themselves.  You have a responsibility, and a duty, as an American Citizen,  to learn and know this stuff; and to apply it in your life.  

If you choose not to learn it, or apply it, you are an idiot, who has what is coming to you when come cop, or even someone like me, gets you to talk by buddying up to you or lying to you.  it's like when I hear someone leaves their doors unlocked and someone steals everything.  I don't feel sorry for the victim of the robbery at all.  They all but left an open invite to get robbed.  Harsh?  Yes.  But I am truthful and honest, and people will always know where I stand.  

Here let me lay it our in pure and simple terms, as a polygraph examiner.  

In the bold is the warning I have on my consent to polygraph forms.  In italics, is the McCarthy, plain english explanation.  Note, the Italics is not on my consent forms.  It is simple, commentary I am using here to explain the bold type in plain, simple, easy to understand english.  You will never see this explained so bluntly anywhere else people.  This is McCarthyism at its best boys and girls.  It's not pretty, but it is pretty clear.

NOTE: All tests done under the direction of an attorney, under privilege, the below commentary does not apply.  THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO ASK FOR A LAWYER.  Contrast people, contrast.

You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions.

This is your 5th Amendment right, not to incriminate yourself, stupid.  You can shut up if you want to or keep babbling like an idiot if you want; that is your right.  You also have a right to not do that.  Take a few minutes to think about this; because once you open your pie hole and start talking, I will take full advantage.  Nothing personal, it's what I do.

Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law.

If you do talk, it's your own damn fault for not being an educated and informed American.  Maybe if you payed more attention in, high school civics class, you would know this stuff. 

You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.

This is your 6th Amendment right.  If you ask for a lawyer, our conversation is over.  I can not talk to you at all, if you ask for a lawyer.  Now here is the trick.  I an't talk to you, but I can listen.  SO please see the above issue where I have addressed the 5th Amendment, and apply that here as well.  If you are not smart enough to know this, you should be hit upside the head with a damn tack hammer, and I will be as smart as a hammer and lessen you every damn word you say, because you are as dumb as a bag of hammers.
 
If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish.

If you are not rich, here is a free pass to end the conversations.  If you think you haft afford your 6th Amendment right, I will offer you a free lawyer, paid for by the state, so you have an excuse to shut up, and or shut me up.  Now you have no excuse of being a moron and not using your 5th and 6th Amendment rights.  If you choose to be a moronic dupe, it's not one me; by all means, tell Uncle Joe all about it.


If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney.

In case you re not totally stupid, and maybe you're just a wee bit slow on the uptick; you can change your mind when light dawns on marble head.  Just remember, anything you already told me, is fair game; hanks for the leads.

Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?

Now that I have been one hell of a great american and given you a brief civics lesson, the choice is yours.  I don't care which choice you make, I am not the one who will have to live with the consequences.  So what will it be; are you going to be smart, or are you going to be my little puppet that I pull the strings to make dance?

SO there is it, plain simple English for all to understand.  

This is all information that has been out there since before the beginning of the internet; only McCarthyized for your benefit; and maybe a small laugh.  

Oh, and yes, I really am this blunt in real life.  People either really, really like me for it; or they really really hate me.  Either or, doesn't matter to me; because like me or hate me, you will always know where you stand with me, I will always be fair, and if I hang you, it's because you handed me the rope. 

Joe McCarthy wrote on Feb 17^th, 2016 at 6:45am:

Joe! Who could not love that face in your picture? It has that wholesome, salt of the earth look....(joking of course). Telling someone to clam up seems prudent to me.

Joe McCarthy wrote on Feb 17^th, 2016 at 7:03am:

"The Belief in a Just World: A Fundamental Delusion" Melvin J. Lerner (1980)

Oh and John, with all due respect.  Taking the polygraph was not a total mistake.  Your mistake was taking a polygraph without hiring a LAWYER first.  Idiot move on that one.

NEVER take a state sponsored test.  If you are going to take a test, take it with an examiners that your lawyer directs you toward.  If you are back into a corner where a state test is your only option, your lawyers can take steps to hire an independent expert, to make sure all is above board, and done within standards and charts QC'ed.

Your mistake was, believing that you are innocent till proven guilty.  Don't blame the polygraph for your poor decision or naiveté.

You were done the minute you opened your mouth and didn't say, "I want a lawyer."   

Ugh, OK, I will say it. I won't be popular for saying it, but then, I was never popular to start with; and I don't anticipate that I will ever really be liked anyway, and I am actually starting to embrace and market that.

First let me say, I am not a lawyer.  I am not giving legal advice.  I am just giving come common sense advice, because I have see too many people screw up their lives, because they think the world is fair, and believe that people are innocent till proven guilty.

NEWS FLASH.  If you have been arrested, you are guilty till proven innocent.  So read this carefully.   

If you are arrested, and the cops want to talk to you, the only words that should come out of your idiot mouth, should be, read this carefully now, "I WANT TO TALK TO A LAWYER!"   

JEEZ, I can't believe this needs to be explained.  If the cops ask for a polygraph, DO NOT REFUSE; remember, anything you say can be used against you.  Instead of refusing, you simply say, "I WANT TO TALK TO A LAWYER!"

Once you ask for a lawyer, (and excuse my French), SHUT THE crappity smack UP!!!!!! Do not talk, cry, weep, sniff, don't even clear your throat.

Tell them you want a lawyer; shut up; then talk to no one but that lawyer.  Once you're arrested, your lawyer is your only friend.   

Oh and don't be an idiot and talk to your cell mate or anyone else in jail.  Chances are, they are a snitch.

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This is the root cause of your mistake. You were never required to prove your innocence; that is not your burden.